I'm gay and Tory. So what?

YESTERDAY nearly 100 organisations representing gay, lesbian and bisexual organisations were invited to a Conservative Party summit in Westminster. Yes - the Conservative Party! And what's more, Michael Howard has already said that in a free vote for his party in the Commons, he will vote for the Civil Partnerships Bill which, when it is published tomorrow, will grant the same rights to samesex partners as those enjoyed by married couples.

What on earth is happening?

And can you really believe it?

Is this the same Conservative Party people used to know and hate because it was said to be intolerant? What has changed?

It is self evident that over the past decade, Conservatives have not found it easy to reconcile their instinctive support for established patterns of family life with their firmly held sense of justice.

Conservatives have defended conventional marriage against alternatives, for fear of undermining it as a mainstay of a loving relationship and an enduring structure for bringing up children. They have been fearful of the social problems caused by the breakdown of marriage, and so have tried to shore up the institution by resisting alternatives that they see as a threat.

It is clear, though, that such a rigid picture of society has become a caricature of modern life. Many other forms of relationship and mutual support have emerged as a common occurrence, and any law which forbids such relationships, or which appears to scoff at them, has attracted deep scorn.

Such disapproving attitudes are seen to be unjust, and an ever- growing fraction of public opinion expects equity in the way people who choose a different lifestyle are treated.

Twenty years ago I doubt a Conservative Party selection committee would have chosen an openly gay person as their MP. I doubt they would have chosen me. I didn't parade a fake girlfriend, as some did, but I was forced into equivocations like: "Don't pretend, but don't let on." Mere suspicion about someone's private life would lead to impudent questions from Central Office: "Now look here, young man: is there anything in your background that might prove an embarrassment to the party?"

But not today. This very same political party now has parliamentary candidates who are openly gay or lesbian. I certainly don't know anyone who has been excluded from a seat because of their sexual orientation.

Sexuality has in the past been a political issue, but it is now, thank heavens, a nonissue. That's how it should be.

Being gay should not matter a jot: anyone should be able to choose their politics and their preferred party just like anybody else without any residual concern for their sexuality.

PEOPLE have finally got the message that homosexuality is not something you can choose, any more than you can pick your height or the colour of your eyes. It is how you are born. It is what you are.

People of the same sex can feel as intense a love for one another as couples of the opposite sex. Who thinks they are entitled to legislate against that?

Who are they to condemn? Even the notion of "tolerance" suggests latent disapproval, whereas " acceptance" is what gays and lesbians are entitled to expect of people in the society they share, and they should settle for nothing less.

Most of that agenda for legislative reform has been enacted. The equalisation of the age of consent, the repeal of Section 28, and provision for gay adoption are now all on (or off) the statute book. A law to recognise "sex change" is now going through Parliament, and the main outstanding issue, that of civil partnerships, is about to be announced.

Same-sex partners need legislation by the state to help them secure equal rights because the state has created the problem in the first place.

Where there are few laws, there is little problem with unfairness under the law. But where there are laws and rules about inheritance tax, pension entitlements, tenancy rights and the position of the next of kin, for example, extra laws are needed to correct the imbalance. That's exactly what this new law is designed to achieve.

Same-sex couples will be able to register their partnership and enjoy the same rights in law as a married couple. With that commitment will come all the responsibilities that any mutually dependant couple faces when they share their life. It is puzzling that there are still some people who feel that the law should forbid such recognition, even though it is based on the love and mutual support which also sustain the conventional family unit.

If the church, of whatever denomination, chooses not to endorse same-sex unions, they should remain entitled to do so. Theirs is a theological argument. Membership of their number is voluntary. They are entitled to their creed, and should be respected by gays in the same way as gays demand they are respected by others.

All that is asked of them is that they do not try to use the power of the law to force their differing view on people who do not share their view, and may not share their faith.

WE are all increasingly part of an extended fami l y. M a ny household s today - particularly in London - have in them someone who is gay or lesbian.

Many a grandmother in modern Britain is more aware and unfazed by this than many an MP. If couples choose to register their partnership, as they soon will be able to do, it is unlikely to put any competing strain on the conventional institution of marriage. After all, they are not exactly fishing in the same pool.

The Civil Partnerships Bill may need to include provision for other interdependent partners such as elderly sisters in a joint tenancy, or the carer and the cared-for. It may prompt a wider review of cohabitees' pension rights, but whatever emerges from the legislative process, it must add to mutual respect.

The Conservative summit spoke volumes for a different sort of politics. Let us differ where we may: but all of us can now choose a political party on the basis of our beliefs, and not because of how we are born.

(c)2004. Associated Newspapers Ltd.. Provided by ProQuest Information and Learning Company. All rights Reserved.