Backstabbers in the workplace should be confronted face to face

Backstabbing -- actually or figuratively -- is a cowardly act.

One of the most common workplace questions is how to deal with backstabbers. The answer involves recognizing the stabber's inherent cowardice.

When you become aware that someone is undermining your efforts or saying wrong or negative things about you behind your back, your best defense is to confront the person directly.

Direct confrontation requires courage. Many of us would rather take flight than fight. Many others would rather suffer silently and hope the nemesis goes away. Neither strategy works well.

A backstabber wants direct confrontation even less than you do.

That knowledge becomes your strength. The best strategy is to tell the backstabber to his or her face that you're aware of what's going on, you want an explanation and you want it to stop.

The backstabber may deny wrongdoing. If so, be prepared to tell exactly what you know and how you know it. Don't be shy about revealing your sources. If the backstabber knows others see the problem, he or she will have lost what a bully needs most -- admiring support.

The backstabber also may confess. If so, try to continue the discussion so you understand the motivation. You may get insight into insecurities or problems that may have been threatening the backstabber's career. Make it clear you do not intend to be his or her victim.

Whatever the response, tell the backstabber that the practice must not continue. If it does, promise that you will take it to his or her boss. It doesn't matter whether you intend to carry out the threat; you're going for the scare tactic.

Some victims have trouble seeing a backstabber as a coward. They see a malevolent person intent on prospering at others' expense, no matter how it's done. Remember this: Cowards can be evil, but they're still cowards.

Confront them. They may be embarrassed or intimidated enough to quit.

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