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ALLIE BYRNE

The most successful literary festivals take place far away from London. The best writers in the world make their way to the small market town of Hay-on-Wye every summer. Last year, in the little fishing town of Parati, 150 miles south of Rio de Janeiro, you could have spotted Eric Hobsbawm, Don DeLillo and Hanif Kureishi. Perhaps a touch of the picturesque is a perfect reward for a writer who has been stuck at their desk for most of the winter.

Festivals are literary summer camp.

And once you've bothered to get there, you sure as hell are going to have a good time.

There was an attempt at a literary festival which took place all over London recently but, according to bibliophile cognoscenti, 'it bombed'. It was too hard to attract attention in a city with so much else going on. Big-name writers suffered the humiliation of playing to 20 people dotted round an auditorium. There is now a series of events known as The Orange Word and a small groovy festival in Clerkenwell, but you are going to have to get your wellies on to find the Booker winners out there.

Breaking news in the world of literary festivals is that Earl Spencer and his new wife, Caroline, are hosting a one-day event at Althorp this summer.

The whispers are all very positive. They have a varied programme, from historians to novelists to poetry. The location couldn't be more magical and Caroline Spencer has the charisma and drive to really put it on the map. It's Caroline who came up with the idea. 'Charles and I have a mutual love of literature. Althorp has a long literary heritage. The setting and location of Althorp is perfect for a large- scale event. The following weekend, Norah Jones and Jools Holland are performing in the park. We are used to visitors and we wanted to hold something in the summer that we would want to go to ourselves; and which was not weather-dependent. This year, as it's the first, we will keep it small and intimate, we expect no more than 2,000 visitors.

But we can take advantage of the magnificent rooms in the house to host speakers. It should be pretty special. It's just one day this year. I hope it is a great day out. Come along, enjoy the events, then feast on a hog roast barbecue in the stables portico.' Charles adds, 'Next year we will have a two-day event, then hopefully grow it from there. The intention is for the Althorp literary festival to become something both fun and prestigious.'

Charles is chairing a debate on history during the Althorp festival. I later find out that he has a big book coming out this year called Blenheim: Battle for Europe, published by Weidenfeld Nicolson; and that when he was promoting his last book on the Spencers, he played to a packed tent at Hay.

But he didn't brag.

The Edinburgh International Book Festival is celebrating its 21st birthday this year. Catherine Lockerbie, director of the festival, claims that: 'People are hungry for what we offer. There is a huge appetite for books, discussion and debate.

There's always talk that culture is dumbing down, but we prove the opposite. Our numbers have doubled in the past three years. Last year 185,000 people came through.' Emma Soames, the editor of Saga magazine which is based in Folkestone, has recently lent her sparkle to the Folkestone Literary Festival. Two years ago, she took over a sleepy local festival, renamed it, got it sponsored by Saga and put it on the map.

Emma gives her point of view on why audiences are growing big- time: 'Audiences get the chance to meet writers. Writers are very accessible in that environment. There's lots of hanging around afterwards. Everyone is in the same bars. Even the same hotels.' It sounds almost sexy. Emma Soames laughs and adds, 'Well, the hotel where most events take place is The Grand; which was the meeting place for the King and Mrs Keppel!

We also try to give the festival a sense of place. We do a tour of Derek Jarman's house or Frances Hodgson Burnett's Secret Garden; we mention the sea; its closeness to France; recent history and the regeneration of the town.' The focus isn't just on books. Hannah Rothschild, scion of the Rothschild family and a film director herself, planned an art and film section for the Hay-on-Wye festival last year: 'Where else are you going to find John Updike, Ken Dodd, Benjamin Zephaniah and Robin Cook?

It's a mad melting pot of filmmakers, politicians, novelists and comedians but you get a great cross-fertilisation of ideas. But we are talking muddy fields. The festival basically takes place in a primary school and some tents. It's not Cannes just pack wellies.' Nick Broomfield, the documentary maker, is involved in programming Hay-on-Wye's documentary film events.

'People are hungrier intellectually than you think. There is a vast range of brains there. And that's very exciting. You know how in life you sometimes feel you are experiencing an historical moment: last year when Eric Hobsbawm and Christopher Hitchens were pitted against each other in a debate, it was, well, up there. You should ask Peter.' It's hard to talk to anyone about literary festivals without the name Peter Florence cropping up.

Peter set up the Hay Festival when he was straight out of college with the money from a lucky game of cards. 'It was just for one weekend. And then it grew and grew. I've never really done anything else!' It is now huge, and this year, aside from the main festival, they are hosting an offshoot in Deia, Majorca in October. 'I do it for the craic and the great conversation, the jokes and the romance. The best festivals mix music, politics and art with a great deal of carousing and the possibility of sharing new ideas.'

Which speakers have been most exciting?

'Clinton tops the media bill, but the audiences have been most thrilled by Joseph Heller, Maya Angelou, David Grossman, Rory Bremner, and Arthur Miller.' There was a great brouhaha last year when the book world started bitching that Hay had paid Clinton Pounds 100,000. They shouldn't dumb down a festival which is supposed to be about writers; nobody would then go to see the first-time novelist in her tiny tent, people whispered. But it was enormously good publicity for Hay and other events sold out the same as ever.

I did ask Mr Florence how much he paid Mr President, but he answered like a true politician, dancing around the question: 'The net profit on Clinton's lecture was Pounds 80K, which cleared our accumulated deficit, and paid for our year-round education programme with no public funding.' That's enough for me.

Clinton called Hay 'Woodstock of the mind' which must be worth marketing millions. David Baddiel, the comedian and a novelist, recalls last year's festival: 'Hay was thrilling. I ended up on the same table for dinner as Bill Clinton. Cerys from Catatonia was singing songs in Welsh. Then I saw her flirting with Clinton. Later I got wildly drunk with Louis de Bernieres and we tied balloons to David Lodge's door. And I did see some interesting things. Although I only remember that French Bond girl, Sophie Marceau. Who I went to see for entirely the wrong reasons.' I can't resist asking Peter Florence about the parties. 'The house parties are legendary, made more so by the highest concentration of anecdotalists and gagwriters anywhere outside Soho House. The myths of Bill Clinton's after-show party, Mailer and Geldof shadowboxing, the three-Bookerwinnersin- abed romps all seem to be true.

Fitting for a festival that was launched with the proceeds of a poker game and has so far generated 22 marriages.' Ion Trewin is the chairman of Cheltenham Literature Festival, which is having its 55th festival this October. I ask Ion what he thinks makes a good talk. 'I normally resist allowing authors to read from their books. Although there are always exceptions. I got the impression that John le Carre was shy in front of an audience. And he came up with a wonderful idea: he read an extract from one of his books and explained the genesis of how it came into being. It was fascinating.

Each author is different. When Tony Benn came he warned me to leave time at the end for questions. Practically the entire audience put up their hands.' The writer Alain de Botton has done the rounds: 'This year, I'm touring with my new book, Status Anxiety. For every festival appearance, I prepare a little routine, which involves jokes and anecdotes. What the audience wants to hear is who you are, what you have for breakfast, what you're like. So it's good to satisfy that desire. Also, before I was married, I very much hoped to meet girls and thought the beautiful locations of many of the festivals would help the cause.' Nearly everyone I spoke to told me it's best not to read from your book. Apart from one writer who said he always did. I then spoke to someone who was at the festival who confided pityingly that he had 'bombed'.

It does all sound a little rock'n'roll: touring, performing, and bombing.

David Baddiel explains, 'It is the most showbusiness end of writing. My stand-up background informs what I do at literary festivals.' Amanda Foreman, who went to Hay with her historical biography Georgiana, Duchess of Devonshire, confesses: 'I was so nervous, I had a glass of whisky before I went on stage. The festival circuit forced me to learn new skills how to talk about my book and how to do public speaking. Now I really enjoy it.'

Simon Sebag Montefiore, who is promoting his acclaimed biography of Stalin, concurs: 'It is like theatre. I talk for an hour without notes. You sense the tension if you hesitate for a moment.

The audiences are sophisticated. You've got to deliver. Don't forget, though, festivals are really a way to sell books.' William Dalrymple, the author of White Mughals, agrees: 'If you give a spellbinding lecture, get the old ladies crying, they are much more likely to buy your book afterwards.

Some writers are better at it than others. It's often surprising who's good.

Salman Rushdie is terribly funny I was quite taken aback at the speed of his repartee. Also, audiences vary hugely. I remember at Edinburgh my audience was, as ever, backpackers carrying rucksacks and nice old ladies with a connection to the Raj. Next up was Irving Welsh and I was jealous of all the cool people in leather jackets swarming in to hear him.' Another festival that only started last year is on the estate of Peregrine Eliot, the Earl of St Germans at Port Eliot, Cornwall.

It's run by Simon Prosser, the publishing director of Hamish Hamilton, and Cathy Wilson, the style director of the Telegraph magazine. Simon Prosser tells me that it was the highlight of his year. And that nearly everyone who went along felt that, too. On the Saturday evening there was a party in the grounds of the stately home; the first DJ was Ekow Eshun, who passed the controls on to Hari Kunzru, and then Gavin Turk took over at six o'clock in the morning.

Hannah Rothschild says her children would much rather go to Hay this half-term and catch Jacqueline Wilson, some stand-up and the Manic Street Preachers than lie on a boring beach. It does seem like a far, far better thing to do.

The Guardian Hay Festival

28 May to 6 June 2004 (www.hayfestival.com)

Who's coming? John Updike, Zadie Smith, Joanne Harris (below), Orhan Pamuk, Orly Castel-Bloom, Nobel scientist Gerald Edelman, musicians Bob Geldof (right), James Dean Bradfield and Paul Robertson, filmmakers Ken Loach, Neil Jordan and Terry Jones, and comedians Dylan Moran, Mark Thomas and Jason Byrne.

Who's in charge? Peter Florence.

What else? The Brecon Beacons National Park is breathtaking. Hay has 39 bookshops and the finest organic deli in Britain.

The mayfly rises on the Usk that week (if you know what that means it'll matter).

What to wear Wellies.

Where to stay The local Michelin-starred hostelries: Stagg Inn at Titley, The Walnut Tree at Abergavenny, and The Merchant House at Ludlow.

The Althorp Literary Festival

Saturday 19 June 2004 (www.althorp.com)

Who's coming? Sebastian Faulks (below), Marian Keyes, Andrew Roberts, Simon Sebag Montefiore, Giles Andreae (Purple Ronnie), William Sieghart, Gillian Slovo and Rachel Billington.

Who's in charge? Caroline Spencer.

What else? Be there for their first-ever festival. Snoop around the house and the park.

What to wear Notting Hill chic.

Where to stay It's only 70 miles from London do a day trip.

The Clerkenwell Literary Festival

9 to 14 July 2004

(www.clerkenwelllitfest.org)

Who's coming? Will Self (below), Iain Sinclair, Ekow Eshun, Richard Benson, and Peter Doherty of the Libertines.

Who's in charge? Victoria Hull. Bryan Ferry is a patron.

What else? It's where they bring out the literary side of rock'n'roll and the rock'n'roll side of literature, apparently.

What to wear Think Will Self: bags under your eyes, pretty pasty, but somehow sexy.

Dartington

9 to 19 July 2004

(www.wayswithwords.co.uk/dartington.html)

Who's coming? Roy Strong, Lynne Truss, Michael Rosen, Shirley Williams, Douglas Hurd and Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall.

What to wear Agent Provocateur and hemp as a tribute to Dartington (the famously progressive school).

Where to stay See website for great package deals.

Port Eliot Lit Fest

30 July to 1 August

(07776 033 069;

www.porteliotlitfest.com)

Whos coming? Richard Benson,

Ekow Eshun, Alain de Botton

(right), Hari Kunzru, Toby Litt,

Christopher Logue, Simon Munnery,

Molly Nyman, Punk Rock Karaoke, Iain

Sinclair, Arthur Smith, Tom Petherick and Gavin Turk.

Whos in charge? Simon Prosser, Peregrine Eliot,

Rick Worthy and Cathy Wilson.

What else? Where else do you get to party all night and learn something? Its Glastonbury for books.

What to wear Glitterati descend on Cornwall in

designer gear to show they dont mind scruffing it in a tent in the country.

Where to stay A tent in the beautiful grounds.

Edinburgh International Book

Festival

14 to 30 August 2004

(0131 228 5444; www.edinburgh-festivals.com)

Whos coming? The list is announced on 17 June.

Whos in charge? Catherine Lockerbie.

What else? It happens at the same time as the

main festival, the Film Festival, the TV Festival and the Fringe. So the comedians from the Fringe get

signed up to write a novel, and writers hope that

Harvey Weinstein will stop by to snap up film rights.

What to wear 180,000 people come through; you

probably wouldnt be alone wearing a yellow tutu.

Folkestone Literary Festival

20 to 25 September 2004

(01303 244 706; www.folkestonelitfest.com)

Whos coming? Alexander McCall Smith (below),

Clarissa Dickson Wright and Alan Titchmarsh.

Whos in charge? Emma Soames

and Nick Ewan.

What else? The Pounds 20,000 Saga

Prize for Wit to a writer

over 50. Check out the

Michael Hopkins pavilion;

jump on a boat to France.

What to wear Yachting gear.

Where to stay The Grand.

The Cheltenham Festival of

Literature

8 to 17 October 2004

(www.cheltenhamfestivals.co.uk)

Whos coming? Nadine Gordimer,

William Hague, Greg Dyke and

Jo Brand (right).

Whos in charge? Ion Trewin

and Christopher Cook.

What to wear Think Middle

England smart.

Southwold

11 to 15 November 2004

(01803 867 373; www.wayswithwords.co.uk/

southwold.html)

Whos coming? Kate Adie, Martin Bell, Melvyn

Bragg, Libby Purves, Roy Hattersley, Michele

Roberts and Jill Paton Walsh.

What to wear Windbreaker because you are near

the beach and nuclear protective underwear (as

Sizewell power station is close).

Where to stay The Swan Hotel.

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