Real Life: 'Paula Yates saved my life'

'When Paula Yates died on 17 September 2000, I was in Florida in drug rehab. The phone rang and it was my girlfriend Charlotte, giving me the bad news. She had befriended Paula while they were both in The Priory the year before - and Charlotte was actually with Paula the night she died. I'd started dating Charlotte in 1994 - when we got together we were both out of it on drugs. I was 18 and in a band, and we were doing quite well. I was already drinking heavily - by the age of 17 I was getting through a bottle of whisky a day. I'd also started smoking cannabis which led to taking LSD, Ecstasy and amphetamines. Everyone in the music industry seemed to be taking drugs then, so it felt like a natural thing to do. When someone offered me heroin I thought, "Why not?" Charlotte tried it at the same time and we were both instantly hooked.

Paula and Charlotte became close when Paula checked into The Priory suffering from depression after the death of her partner, INXS's Michael Hutchence, on 22 November 1997. Charlotte was in there already because, by this time, she was also a heroin addict. The singer Finlay Quaye was there too and the three of them developed a strong bond.

When they came out we'd have parties at Paula's house in Notting Hill. People would always be hanging out at Paula's, getting drunk and stoned. I'd often go round and celebrities like Huey from Fun Loving Criminals would be sitting on the sofa. It seemed glamorous to me at first, but if you took a step back it wasn't at all. Paula was a very unhappy woman.

She'd never got over Michael's death. You'd walk into her house and it was like a shrine to him - his pictures were on the walls, she even kept his ashes in a little pillow on her bed. Paula doted on their daughter Tiger Lily, who obviously reminded her of Michael every minute of the day. They were always together and even slept in the same bed.

It must have been awful for her but, back then, I wasn't thinking about Paula, I was just concerned about how much smack I had in my pocket.

By this time I was a full-on addict, injecting heroin and taking crack cocaine. In the three months at the peak of my addiction, I overdosed on heroin 12 times and had to be resuscitated. I'd tried to get clean countless times. I went to rehab at The Priory in Bristol and to a clinic in Germany, but couldn't stick at it. My uncle suggested I try a treatment centre in Florida. I wasn't keen, but then my closest friend Jim Sanders (Sophie Dahl's ex-boyfriend) accidentally fell from a building and died. It wasn't drug-related, but that was a turning point for me. I got on a plane to America and started detox. That was when I got the call from Charlotte telling me Paula was dead.

It was a massive shock. Out of all of us, she was the most sensible when it came to drug-taking. Paula was a party girl, but she wasn't a heroin addict, she just dabbled in drugs. The night she died, Paula and Charlotte had bought a pounds 30 bag of heroin, which is about half a gram. If she'd been an addict, the amount she'd taken wouldn't have killed her. But her body wasn't used to the drug, so it couldn't tolerate that small amount.

Somehow it didn't seem fair I was still alive and she was dead. Charlotte was in a terrible state. She was investigated by the police but released without charge. It was my dealer who sold Paula the drugs, so if she hadn't had that connection with me, maybe it wouldn't have happened.

I've now been clean since 2000, the year Paula died. It was the futility of her death that spurred me on to get clean. My old druggie friends don't want to see me because I'm in recovery and they don't want to hear about that, which suits me. Paula was a lovely lady and her death was a tragedy. But when she died, she saved my life.'

l Felix's band, Hey Negrita, have a single, Kathmandu, out now Got a true-life story? Write to us or email celebs@sundaymirror.co.uk

FACT FILE: The drugs Felix took

CANNABIS

Side effects: Anxiety, panic and short-term memory loss as well

as increased heartbeat and change of blood pressure. At later stages, the user may become quiet, withdrawn and sleepy. Larger doses can cause nausea.

ECSTASY (MDMA)

Side effects: Increase in heart rate and blood pressure, muscle tension, involuntary teeth clenching, nausea, blurred

vision, faintness, and chills or sweating. Psychological effects include confusion, depression, sleep problems and anxiety. In some cases a severe reaction to the drug can cause death.

LSD

Side effects: Impaired memory and attention span. A bad psychological reaction can cause panic, confusion, anxiety, feelings of helplessness and loss of control.

COCAINE

Side effects: An increased temperature, heart rate, and blood pressure. Prolonged use can cause depression and paranoia. Frequent snorting of the drug can cause the nasal septum to collapse, as suffered by Danniella Westbrook.

HEROIN

Side effects: Heroin abuse is associated with serious health conditions including fatal overdose, collapsed veins and, particularly in users who inject the drug, infectious diseases, including HIV/AIDS and hepatitis.

National Drugs Helpline: 0800 77 66 00

Celebrity addicts

Stars who have battled addictions:

l Jason Donovan (drugs) l Caroline Aherne (alcohol)

l Matthew Perry (drugs, alcohol) l Robert Downey Jr (drugs)

l Ronnie O'Sullivan (drugs) l Danniella Westbrook (drugs)

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