Ask Cap'n Drew

Dear Readers:

As I'm sure most of you know, Bob Denver (a.k.a. Gilligan and Maynard G. Krebs) passed away in September of this year. As many of you long time readers are aware, I have frequently made reference to the show "Gilligan's Island" in my column.

I will always have fond memories of taking sick days from school as a child, sitting on my couch under a warm blanket watching "Gilligan's Island" reruns over a hot bowl of chicken soup. Back in the '70s, we only had six channels on TV and I would delight when the "good" shows would come on.

While I never met Mr. Denver, I understand that he was an extremely nice man with an excellent sense of humor. I did see interviews in the later years where he good-naturedly poked fun at himself and his most famous character.

[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]

I don't even know whether he was really even a boater. Whether he was or not, we boaters can identify with Gilligan. As every boater knows, if something CAN go wrong on the water, it WILL. Like most of us, he got caught in storms, couldn't fix his boat, had a fat person constantly nagging him and never got the girl.

I therefore ask that each of you take a moment, pick up your glass and give a toast to Gilligan--and to Bob Denver, the man who brought him to us.

In dedication, I am rerunning the Top Ten list that appeared in my September 2004 column:

Tattoos on Gilligan's Rear-End

 1. I may be marooned, but look where you are.
 2. Leavenworth '59-'62
 3. Mary Ann's coconut muffins
 4. "It was all my fault"
 5. Inflate in the event of an emergency
 6. "Lagoon Lover"
 7. My only residuals are right here
 8. G-Man
 9. NOTHING comes between me and my drawstring, canvas bellbottoms
10. Reserved for the skipper

Dear Cap'n Drew: We belong to a wonderful boat club in Florida. The people are great. It is a close-knit club where members are not only friends "on the water," but attend parties at each other's homes as well. The only problem is that nearly every day, we are approached by dock neighbors who participate in fundraisers. They are constantly selling chocolate bars, cookies, candles etc.

I already purchase many of these things at my office and simply cannot afford to buy them again on the dock. I don't want to be rude, but am up to my ears in chocolate bars that I don't even eat. What's the best way to handle this?

--Kim (name changed) in Florida

Dear "Kim": The next time you are approached, tell them that your therapist advised you not to participate in such things. Inform them that you were once mugged in an airport by four thugs posing as Hari Krishnas. Tell them you become completely neurotic whenever you are approached by fundraisers and that the voices in your head tell you to do strange things. I'm sure they'll understand.

Cap'n Drew Brown is the author of the boating humor book "What's A Hoy? A Guide to Modern Boating." Send questions via e-mail to capn@capndrew.com.

BY CAP'N DREW BROWN

COPYRIGHT 2005 Boat Owners Association
COPYRIGHT 2005 Gale Group