The Blackman's Guide to Understanding the Blackwoman. - includes excerpts - book reviews

FIGHTING WORDS `The Blackman's Guide to Understanding the Blackwoman'

It's hard to feel neutral about Shahrazad Ali's book The Blackman's Guide to Understanding the Blackwoman (Civilized Publications, $10). Most folks either love it (generally made folks) or despise it (mainly female folks). This book, which its author claims she wrote to "enlighten the Blackman and create a revolution of positive change in Black relationships," generates intense feelings in Black women, ranging from confusion and hurt to anger and even violence. After Ali appeared on a New York City radio show, for instance, the host noted that "as far as volatility and antagonism [go], nothing has come close to this program . . . . If she came on again, I would fear for her physical safety."

As the controversy continues and book sales remain brisk, Iyanla Vanzant, a Philadelphia attorney and a spiritual sister deeply involved in the Yoruba faith, takes a step back from the emotional fray to look at the book from a cultural and intellectual distance. Here she offers a Black woman's guide to understanding The Blackman's Guide to Understanding the Blackwoman.

There is little dispute that the African-American community is in crisis, although the issues that have created the crisis remain debatable. We find evidence of the crisis in both our homes and our communities. Black men are kept out of the work force, Black women struggle alone, and Black children use and sell drugs. These are manifestations of Black life in America, the problems created when people are stripped of their ancestral culture and life philosophy.

Many of us are confused. Some of us are lost. Unfortunately, the most severe and deadly injuries have occured when we have turned against one another. The Blackman's Guide to understanding the Blackwoman is a classic example of the confusion we suffer and the injury we inflict when we turn on ourselves.

In her book, Shahrazad Ali points the finger, calls names and lays blame on any number of persons (mostly Black women) and situations. To argue that African-American women are emotionally and mentally damaged as a result of oppression, while holding us accountable for the manifestations of the damage, is contradictory. To ask a Black woman to surrender control of her destiny to the Black man, who is equally oppressed and damaged, is to ask her to self-destruct. When Sister Ali claims that one person (the man) has the divine right to control or rule another (the woman), she is telling us that we should believe in the notion of predetermined superiority. Her message is anit-African and anticultural.

Problems between Black men and Black women do exist; otherwise, no one would have paid any attention to a book like The Blackman's Guide. The challenge we face as we work toward our healing is to consider all the factors that have driven us apart, recognizing both the positive and the negative. We must be willing to address these factors as we struggle toward a common meeting ground. For the advancement of the whole, we must move from the strongest base of commonality - the culture and traditions of our ancestors.

African culture teaches us to live life to the fullest, respecting one another and all life forms. May Black women continue to be unique individuals - not cardboard generalizations - welcoming the challenge of others and the growth we gain from the experience of interaction with one another and with our men.

COPYRIGHT 1990 Essence Communications, Inc.
COPYRIGHT 2004 Gale Group