Bringing out your child's gifts

As a child, I loved books so much that I would get a flashlight try to read under the covers after my parents had put me to bed at night. I also kept a journal, wrote and produced plays for family and friends, and composed stories using my friends as the characters. Because of my natural verbal skills, I did well on standardized tests and was always near the top of my class.

My brother, Keith, on the other hand, was good at making friends. He never met a stranger, and whenever someone needed a helping hand, he was there. He was always lending his video games and designer clothes, and when he began driving, he frequently volunteered to shuttle his friends around. Keith was also an action member of numerous community-service clubs. But rarely did his good deeds and unselfish works translate into a stellar report card.

Keith and I were very different kids who gamed in very different ways. And like most folks, we grew up in a household where a premium was placed on education. Good grades were rewarded and bad grades meant grief. Yet, despite our mother's high expectations, she always gave us the freedom to learn in our own way. When we weren't doing homework, Mom was shuttling us to street festivals and puppet shows, animal farms and children's museums. Keith played soccer and the clarinet; I took tap and ballet classes (to tame my wayward feet!). We explored worlds that we were good -- and not so good -- at. And we grew.

Although she didn't know it then, my mother was a proponent of the theory of multiple intelligences. According to this theory, everyone has talents or gifts in many areas, and when we play to our strongest suits, the most effective learning usually occurs. Sometimes, however, these strong suits aren't where parents want them to be.

"If we look at children only in traditional ways, and the child doesn't have `schoolhouse' intelligence [is strong in linguistics or math], parents will figure they don't have a promising child," says psychologist Thomas Armstrong of Sonoma County, California. "However, by considering multiple intelligences, parents can look deeper and see talents they may have neglected."

Ellen Winner, a professor of psychology at Boston College and the author of Gifted Children: Myths and Realities (Basic Books, $16), explains that if you want to identify where your child's potential lies, simply take note of the activities she naturally gravitates toward. Winner says she believes that if parents recognize and nurture a child's inborn abilities, the child will be able to build her confidence and self-esteem much more than any IQ or other standardized-test result ever could.

"IQ tests are very limited," says Winner. "They're pretty good for predicting how well your child will do in school because they test subject matter that schools value. But they don't predict how well your child is going to do in life."

Multiple Intelligences Made Simple

Uncovering your child's strengths and providing opportunities for him to develop do not have to be complicated or costly in his books Awakening Your Child's Natural Genius (Tarcher/Putnam, $12.95) and in Their Own Way: Discovering and Encouraging Your Child's Personal Learning Style (Tarcher/Putnam, $9.95), Armstrong offers these guidelines for recognizing and cultivating the seven intelligences in your child.

* A verbal-linguistic child speaks and/or reads at an early age; enjoys writing; spins tall tales or tells jokes and stories; has a good memory for names, places, dates or trivia; enjoys reading in her spare time; spells words easily; appreciates nonsense rhymes and tongue twisters; likes doing crossword puzzles.

How they learn: These kids learn best by saying, hearing and seeing words.

How to nurture them: Provide them with books, records and tapes of the spoken word; create opportunities for writing; engage them in discussions; give them access to such tools as a tape recorder, a typewriter and a computer for word making; read books together; have evenings of storytelling; take them places where words are important, including bookstores and libraries; play games such as Black Heritage Brain Quest, Scrabble, Trivial Pursuit, Boggle, Jeopardy or Wheel of Fortune.

* A logical-mathematical child computes arithmetic problems quickly in his head; enjoys using computers; asks questions like "Where does the universe end?" "What happens after we die?" and "When did time begin?"; plays chess, checkers or other strategy games and wins; enjoys brainteasers, logical puzzles; devises experiments to test things they don't understand; likes patterns.

How they learn: These children think in terms of concepts and look for abstract patterns and relationships.

How to nurture them: Provide them with materials they can experiment with, such as science resources. Visit science museums, computer fairs and electronics exhibitions. They enjoy logical puzzles and games like backgammon, Clue, dominoes, Mastermind, Monopoly and Othello.

* A visual-spatial child spends free time drawing, designing things or building articles with Lego blocks; reports clear visual images when thinking; easily reads maps, charts and diagrams; likes it when you show movies, slides or photographs; enjoys doing jigsaw puzzles or mazes; daydreams a lot; is fascinated with machines and contraptions and sometimes comes up with her own inventions.

How they learn: These youngsters usually learn visuals and need to be taught through images, pictures, metaphor and color.

How to nurture them: Use films, slides, diagrams, maps, charts, art activities, construction kits, visualization exercises and vivid stories. Visit architectural landmarks, planetariums and art museums. Play games such as checkers, chess, Classic Concentration, Connect Four, Pictionary and ticktacktoe.

* A musical child frequently sings, hums or whistles quietly to himself; has strong opinions about the music you play on the radio or stereo; is sensitive to nonverbal sounds in the environment, such as crickets chirping, distant bells ringing; remembers melodies of songs; tells you when a musical note is off-key; needs music to study; collects records or tapes.

How they learn: These children learn best through rhythm and melody. They can learn almost anything more easily if it's sung, tapped or whistled.

How to nurture them: Provide music lessons (if the child wants them), play different types of music around the house, involve them in rhythmic activities and sing-along time. Use percussion instruments or metronomes to help them learn rote material. Good games include Encore, NoteAbility, Hot Potato, Simon and Song Burst.

* A bodily-kinesthetic child does well in competitive sports; moves, twitches, taps or fidgets while sitting in a chair; enjoys physical activities like swimming, biking, hiking or skateboarding; needs to touch people when talking to them; enjoys scary amusement rides; demonstrates skill in a craft like woodworking, sewing or carving; cleverly mimics other people's gestures, mannerisms or behaviors; communicates well through body language.

How they learn: These kids learn best by moving their bodies and working with their hands.

How to nurture them: Provide them with access to playgrounds, swimming pools and gyms. Let them fix machines, build models and care for small animals. Play games like Twister, jacks, Jenga, Pick-Up Sticks, Operation and charades.

* An interpersonal child enjoys socializing; knows everybody's business, such as who has a crush on whom, who's mad at whom and where the fight is going to be after school; serves as mediator when disputes arise; seems particularly street-smart; gets involved in after-school group activities; has empathy for others' feelings.

How they learn: These children learn best by relating to and cooperating with people.

How to nurture them: Let them teach other kids; get them involved in community projects, school clubs and volunteer organizations where they can learn by interacting with others; have family discussions and problem-solving sessions. Play games like LifeStories and Therapy: The Game.

* An intrapersonal child shies away from group activities; keeps a diary or has ongoing projects and hobbies that are semisecretive in nature; displays a sense of independence or strong will; seems to live in her own private, inner world; likes to play alone; seems to have a deep sense of self-confidence; often is labeled eccentric; is self-motivated.

How they learn: These kids frequently learn best when they're left to themselves.

How to nurture them: Give them a chance to pursue independent study and individualized projects or games. Respect their privacy; let them know ifs okay to be independent. Play games like Scruples and The Ungame.

Caveat Emptor

"It's wisest to look at all your child's abilities and foster each of them," Armstrong says. He warns against simply finding the greatest strength and teaching everything through that one entry point, you run the risk of pigeonholing your youngster, and your child also misses out on the chance to develop in other areas.

"The most important thing is for parents to be balanced and take it a step at a time," Armstrong concludes. "Parents shouldn't make it a job to develop their child's intelligences."

My brother Keith is now a teacher. I'm a writer and editor. We ultimately ended up in professions that matched our natural-born gifts. I suppose my mom knew without knowing that nurturing our strengths and working with us on our weaknesses was the way to get us to the other side of childhood, well-adjusted, productive and confident. I pray that I can follow her lead and do the same for my kids.

COPYRIGHT 1997 Essence Communications, Inc.
COPYRIGHT 2004 Gale Group