Holidays: Pull up that chair and treat yourself to all the charms of

YOUR true Cypriot is a three-chair man. He may linger an hour over one black coffee but at the cafe table he likes three chairs to himself - one to sit on, one to hook his feet on, and a third as a rest for his elbow.

With modern plastic chairs this simply does not work. But pottering through the foothills of the Troodos Mountains we stopped off at an old-style cafe-restaurant to find the proprietor, Spiros, in full three-chair mode.

"Yassas, welcome!" he cried, disentangling himself and sitting us down in the wine arbour on "proper old Greek chairs, made of wood and cane".

We sampled old and new Cyprus during our visit, ranging from a luxury hotel to village rooms.

The year-old Anassa Hotel, 30 minutes north of Paphos, is top of the market for the Eastern Mediterranean.

King-size beds match king-size rooms, each with a balcony looking out over a limitless blue sea.

White marble corridors gleam so bright that you almost need sunglasses indoors.

An art nouveau staircase sweeps you down to an outdoor restaurant where you can eat in the sun while looking at the sumptuous gardens and the swimming-pools.

If you're lucky enough to stay in one of the really expensive suites you don't need those pools - you have your own on your balcony.

From fat-cat living at the Anassa we set out for an "agrotourism" experience in village rooms.

Cyprus got first prize from British Airways this year for its agrotourism, which means quiet country holidays in renovated village houses.

Tochni, our village, looked a tumbledown place with crumbling walls.

Then we discovered the mod-cons that have disappeared from so many English villages.

Look, a village store! Heavens, a bank!

Cypriots eat out a lot, so there were several tavernas to choose from, and a swimming-pool.

The rooms are self-contained little flats reached by small paths and flower-filled staircases.

Inside everything looks pretty old, except for the en-suite loo and shower.

The hot water is provided, as in most of sunny Cyprus, from solar panels on the roof.

Things to do? I quote the brochure: "Trips with local fishermen, cheese- making, wine-tasting, cookery classes, horse-riding."

Well, horses for courses - this kind of holiday is for people who like long walks, quiet reads and getting to know the locals.

I don't think it would suit hyperactive teenagers.

A car comes with the package, however, so you can see a lot of Cyprus.

Visit the capital, Nicosia, for shopping, history, and the dramatic frontier with Turkish Cyprus.

This "Green Line" runs through the city, the Berlin Wall of Nicosia.

Only there is no wall, just high barbed wire, propaganda posters, a U.N. sentry post and the Greek Cypriot and Turkish flags flapping defiance at each other across a no-man's land the width of Oxford Street.

Yet there is no hint of all this when you mingle with the sun-and- swim crowds in seaside resorts like Paphos, where we drove for lunch.

Meze (pronounced me-ZEH) is the pick-and-mix triumph of Cypriot cuisine.

Where else can you try 21 dishes, with wine, for a shade over a fiver?

And shade is what you will need if you holiday in July-August, when Cyprus gets very, very hot - sometimes over 100 degrees. November to March is not beach weather, so the best seasons are the ones in between.

Whenever you go, though, you're in for a pleasant surprise.

VERDICT: The new "agrotourism" village rooms are a great way to see the other side of Cyprus - away from the bustling resorts.

FACT FILE

Cyprus Airways (0181-359 1333) and many charters.

Thomson A La Carte (0990 502 550) 1wk B&B at the Anassa Hotel, pounds 789 (May) to pounds 869 peak season. Includes flights.

Agrotourismo bookings: Cyprus Villages (16 Durlston Crescent, Christchurch, Dorset BH23 2ST, 01202 470404).

Cyprus Tourist Office, 215 Regent Street, London W1R 8DA (tel: 0171- 734 9822/2593).

Cup of coffee pounds 1.20

3-course set meal pounds 8.50

Bottle of house wine pounds 4.25

Bottle of mineral water 95p

Bottle of beer pounds 1.20

1wk car hire pounds 144.10

Copyright 1999 MGN LTD
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