Ask Cap'n Drew

Dear Cap'n Drew:

We have become friendly with the couple who is docked next to us in our marina. They are nice in every way, except for the fact that they always try to mooch food from us. Whenever my husband and I start barbecuing on the dock, they stroll over and sit down on our boat. We feel obligated to offer them something to eat. They have never once even offered us as much as a single potato chip. How can we put a stop to this?

--Kelly from the "Keys"

Dear Kelly:

I have two words for you: Hot Pepper. Next time these deadbeats stop by to mooch some dinner, spike their burgers with huge amounts of hot pepper and/or Tabasco sauce. Tell them that you and your husband wanted to add spice to your lives (literally) and that this is the way you intend to prepare your food from now on. Of course, you don't need to ruin your own food, just pretend that you have (i.e. fan your mouth or puff your cheeks). This should keep them at an arms' length the next time you fire up the grill.

Dear Cap'n Drew:

I just bought my first boat and I need to get an anchor for it. I went to a marine store the other day and noticed that they carried several different kinds of anchors. Some of these were pretty expensive. Does it really matter what kind of anchor I use? What if I just tie a hunk of metal to a rope, wouldn't that accomplish the same thing? How important is an anchor, anyway?

-- New to Boating in Southern California

Dear NTBSC:

In all truth, using the correct anchor is only important if you don't want to drift away. If standing still doesn't have any appeal for you, you really don't need an anchor at all. However, most of us feel that being stationary from time to time is a good thing. I would recommend that you take a Coast Guard or Power Squadron course on boating and pay extra attention during "anchor hour."

Dear Cap'n Drew:

My husband and I enjoy your tremendous grasp of the obvious. How about some general words of boating wisdom for all the boaters out there?

-- Amy in CT

Dear Amy:

hanks for the compliment. The obvious has always been my strongest suit. Instead of general wisdom, why don't I get practical and print a few boating safety tips for you?

Boating Safety Tips:

* Don't look up at a flock of birds.

* Don't pull the anchor while wearing socks.

* Don't "skinny-dip" around snapping turtles or bluefish.

* Don't place your bare leg against the aluminum windshield trim.

* Don't slice cheese or pepperoni while the boat is moving.

* At the beginning of your trip, give some thought to putting a sandwich in the pockets of each life vest.

* Don't flick ashes into the bilge.

Cap'n Drew Brown is the author of the boating humor book "What's A Hoy? A Guide to Modern Boating." Send questions via e-mail at www.capndrew.com.

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