Find your true purpose

AFFIRMATION

I have the power to created the outcome I desire. I use my power wisely. I expect the best!

DEAR IYANLA,

I am the 32-year-old mother of a wonderful, loving 9-year-old boy. have an M.B.A. However, I'm about to lose a job that brings me no joy, though it pays well. While I honestly believe that this is a blessing in disguise, I fear the outcome. How will I eat, pay the rent and bills, and support myself and my son with no job?

To be honest, I no longer desire to work in corporate America. I would love to spend time in the silence of my home praying, meditating--just breathing--while I figure out what my purpose is. I'm contemplating returning to school to get a Ph.D. or starting my own business. But neither of these options tugs at my soul right now. I know that God provides, and struggle with letting go and letting Him Lake over. I realize I need rest. but I also know that my son and I have to eat! I need your advice, Iyanla. What should I do?

BELOVED,

As I read your letter I asked myself. What's the problem? The job you didn't want is going away. The time and space you yearned to have for clarity are being offered to you. The opportunity to rest is knocking at your door. If you created all this, why would you believe you can't create what you desire? That's when the lightbulb went off in my head: Each time you state what you want, you quickly negate it with a fear that you won't get it. Your problem is not losing your job or starving to death, but absence of vision and lack of faith.

Your communication is a clear indication of the old saying, Where the mind goes, me behind follows! It sounds to me as if you're a levelheaded, productive and responsible woman. Why then would you expect the worst of yourself and for yourself? There is no lack in the universe. The only thing lacking is faith in our ability to draw to us that which we need.

Let us shift gears here. Once you've figured out how much time you must have to regroup, consider the following: What will your expenses be during this period? Will you receive any income--severance, unemployment benefits or child support? Do you have any resources (like savings or a relative with whom you can stay temporarily to cut expenses) you can rely on? What can you eliminate from your current expenses to free up the resources you will need? Once you've thought about it, write down your response to each of these questions. Then you will get a clear picture of where you're headed and what's required for you to get there. Having a vision you can "see" with your heart helps silence mental chatter.

My dear, the time off will connect you with your purpose. If starting a business is what you desire, formulate a business plan. For inspiration, read Who Moved My Cheese? An A-Mazing Way to Deal With Change in Your Work and in Your Life by Spencer Johnson, M.D.

Finally I'll take a risk here. I sense that beneath your inner conversation about losing your job, there's a hint of guilt: You feel you must sacrifice yourself for your son, You must provide for him, and if you don't, someone will consider you less than the perfect mother. Trust me! I know the drill. But consider what a blessing sing it would be for your son to have you home for a few months when he gets home from school. I encourage you to discuss with him what's about to take place. Let him see and feel your faith in your ability to shape life the way you want it. You two can create a beautiful outcome this experience. You've got the power. Use it!

In the meantime be blessed!

Iyanla Vanzant is founder and director of the Inner Visions Institute for Spiritual Life Coaching in Silver Sprig, Maryland. Go to innervisionsworldwide.com for information on services and vents. She's also one of the featured life coaches on NBC's Starting Over. Do you need help with a dilemma? Write Ask Iyanla, ESSENCE, 1500 Broadway, New York NY 10036 or E-mail queries to askiyanla@essence.com. She will respond only to letters selected for publication.

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