HERE WE GO, HERE WE GO, HERE WE GO SHOPPING . . .

If you thought all you needed to watch the World Cup was a television, think again. There is an entire industry devoted to making you part with your cash in the name of patriotism. DAVID MURPHY and TOM SYKES offer this preview of how the well-prepared fan will spend the day of England's first evening game 8.30am Wake up to the sounds of the official England World Cup song, On Top Of The World, playing on my Sharp MD-X5H micro system (GBP 399.99). It has a CD player and a MiniDisc recorder (the modern version of the compact cassette) and you can even hook it up to the Internet. The song isn't quite as catchy as Three Lions, but at least it has stopped me singing John Shuttleworth's failed Eurovision Song Contest entry Pigeons In Flight. Jo left for work an hour ago. I don't think she's too upset about me taking a month off work to watch the World Cup and not having a holiday abroad this year. We often go for days without speaking. Less than 12 hours now till kick-off v Romania. 9am Clean teeth with my Aquafresh Flex '98 toothbrush (GBP 2.19). Check fridge to ensure sufficient stock of beer. Red Stripe for the Jamaica match, Silva for Romania, Ten-nents for Scotland - from Sainsbury's range of World Cup beers for general use or between-match gargles. Then down to the electrical store to stock up on videotapes. With 64 games to watch, there's bound to be one or two I can't catch. I'll be taping everything on a Hitachi VT-FX770 VCR (GBP 350). It has a tape navigation system that tells you what you've recorded and even tells you where there are gaps on the tape to record on to. It also tells you when you've watched each programme you've recorded but, unfortunately, doesn't tell you if it's worth watching in the first place. 11am Bone up on World Cup trivia for an hour with the Canon Ultimate World Cup Fact And Quiz Book (GBP 9.99). It's amazing how impressed people can be when you casually reveal obscure stats, like the fact that the first time Wales reached the World Cup Finals was in 1958, and that the last time was in ... er, 1958.

Noon Time for lunch - and to put my Sharp "ViewCook" microwave (GBP 330) to the test.

With over 200 recipes built in, it's perfect for when you don't want to take your eye off the ball. Select the meal you want and it gives you the ingredients and quantities you need and cooks it for you. If that's too hard, insert ready-prepared microwave curry and press button. 1pm Still no footie on the telly yet. Catch up on the latest stats on my Philips Velo 500 palmtop computer (GBP 450 plus GBP 60 for optional telephone connectivity kit). Hooked up to a phone line, it can surf the Internet to check out all the World Cup Web sites. Also has all the games scheduled in, with alarms one day and two hours before kick-off for all England's games and 10 seconds before a David Batty tackle from behind. 2pm Get myself in the mood with a game of Actua Soccer 2 (GBP 35) on the PlayStation (GBP 130), definitely the best footie game for my money. Commentary from Barry Davies and Trevor Brooking is great -Trev even commits himself to the odd opinion from time to time - and the gameplay attention to detail is fantastic. Select a training game and you'll see the drinks containers on the touchline and the kebab stand in the background. 3pm Set up the video projector for tonight's game. I'm using Sharp's XV-C1E portable LCD projector (GBP 1,000). Just connect the video recorder to it as if it was a TV, select the right channel, and it throws a 150-inch picture on a screen (or in my case, the living- room wall). Even Michael Owen looks like a grownup on a screen that big. Then after the game, just whip the screen down and put the projector away and Jo will never know the boys have been round, so long as I hire a skip to take away the empties. 4.30pm Back into kitchen to rustle up baguette sarnies (to add a little French flavour), keeping up with the Colombia v Tunisia game on my Philips AE6360 AM/FM radio (GBP 25). It looks like a cigarette lighter, and by concealing the earphones with my chef's hat, none of my friends know they haven't got my full and undivided attention. Nearly give the game away when I cheer a goal. 7.30pm Final preparations before kick-off. Run through the essential equipment to check everything is in working order: * Casio special edition World Cup G-Shock watch (GBP 99.99) so I can be absolutely sure the ref's playing enough extra time (or not too much if we're winning). * RoadStar splashproof handheld TV (GBP 199) in case I need the little boys' room before halftime. * Innovations Koolatron fridge (GBP 99 + GBP 50 for mains adaptor). I bought this for picnics (it runs off a car cigar-lighter charger) but with the mains adaptor, it's perfect for temporary use in the living room. Just chill the beer in the real fridge first, load up the Koolatron and plonk it next to the chair. Perfect. 7.45pm Disaster. Remember I promised Jo I'd mow the lawn today. No panic though, my Robo-mower (GBP 999) will come to my rescue. All I have to do is run some cable round the edge of the lawn to let it know where the grass is and off it goes. If only I had some cable ... 11pm Jo arrives home after an evening with friends in a World Cup- free bar, as the last of my mates sneaks out the back. She's so pleased she forgets to check the lawn and goes straight to bed while I surf the channels looking for footie highlights. Make a mental note to do the lawn tomorrow, in between Italy-Austria and Scotland- Morocco. And if you think that sounds over the top, here are a few more ideas. . . FEVER PITCH Worried you'll miss the kick-off? Keep an eye on the time with a Football Pitch clock (right). The hours are indicated on numbered shirts and footballs. GBP 29.99. Stockists: 01789 400077. COACH POTATO One-for-All Soccer remote control has football shirt- shaped channel changers positioned on a loud green pitch with a football at the top (above). Suitable for all TV brands, VCRs and audio equipment and costs GBP 19.99 from Comet. GET LEGLESS La Cafetire's footballer legs corkscrews, (right) in a choice of nine kits from the top qualifying teams. GBP 12 each. Stockists: 0181 651 6321. GAME OF ONE HALF Buy a Hitachi widescreen TV before 14 June, and if either England or Scotland win the World Cup you get half your money back. 28in set GBP 799.99. Stockists: 0181 849 2000. CLASS PASS The ball you won't want to kick: Louis Vuitton's limited edition in signature Monogram canvas (right). Stamped with the official World Cup logo in natural cowhide holder. GBP 300 from Louis Vuitton, 198 Sloane Street, SW1 (0171 235 3356). YES ... THE DUVET COVER If you want to eat, breathe and sleep football, Vantona's reversible quilt cover (above) has a green pitch on one side and an all-over bright-red design of Coca-Cola icons on the other. Comes with a matching pillowcase at GBP 28.99. Matching curtains also available. Stockists: 01204 513024. COFFEE BREAK Lavazza calls itself "the official coffee of the 1998 World Cup". Commemorative set of espresso cups and saucers with green footie-pitch saucers and blue sky cups. A set of two costs GBP 6.99 by mail order (0181 580 8810). FOOT IN EAR Look really uncool listening to the results on Akura's football boot radio. A black and white Umbro boot hides a battery-operated AM/FM tuner and integral speaker: GBP 9.99 from Argos. TRAFFIC-STOPPER Halfords' "Come on England" car sunshield for GBP 5.99. FOR SERIOUS SUPPORTERS Wall-mounted shelf supported by a football - for heaven's sake, why? Brackets, shelf and fixings set from Spur Shelving's Next Generation range costing GBP 14.99 from DIY stores. ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU WEEP Sick of spin-off merchandise? Shed those Gazza-like tears: France '98-decorated facial tissues, GBP 1.35 from Safeway.

Copyright 1998
Provided by ProQuest Information and Learning Company. All rights Reserved.