My new-found lust for life, broadcasting and the arts
Sheena McDonaldSheena McDonald describes her recovery from brain injury and looks forward to going on air with the highlights of The Edinburgh Festival Brain injury can devastate. It can leave the sufferer unable to walk, unable to speak, unable to remember, or with some quixotic handicap that prurient film-makers find interesting enough to describe - an inability to do some random everyday function, like tying your shoelaces, or a disjunction between the ability to read and to speak - but no-one is able to explain.
Neuro-scientist Susan Greenfield has a current BBC TV series exploring what is known about the brain. It seems that comparatively little is actually known, once you sweep away the jargon and the necessary technical terms. She insists that when we do eventually find out how it works (if we do), then every aspect of humanity, including personality, sexuality and religious belief, will stem from some as-yet-secret brain activity.
This, to me, is somewhat fundamentalist, and I do not agree with her - but then I have no expertise other than being, like tens of thousands of other British citizens, the survivor of a brain injury. Less than 18 months ago, I was knocked over by a police van travelling on the wrong side of the road. There are all manner of causes of brain injury, but our love affair with the internal combustion engine undoubtedly takes its toll, and we as a species seem to accept the price that must be paid for driving around in lethal weapons.
I was treated by a beleaguered National Health Service in three hospitals, two in London, one in Edinburgh. My initial prognosis was very poor, but the doctors did not report that to my family or partner. So the ignorant amateurs expected me to get better.
And I did.
In the early days, I was insensate, unable to swallow, eat, stand, sit. Nothing. I was in intensive care for two weeks, and even when I was moved to a general ward, they would not let me eat. I was completely and expertly looked after. And the result is that I can now walk, and talk, tie my shoelaces, read and write.
And I can return to my old love, radio journalism. Well, I could return to TV journalism if there was any these days, but it's a shrinking and often trivialising form of reporting now.
I don't know how I improved beyond expectation. The experts don't know. And I should say, I'm still formally in recovery. I still have regular meetings with my neuropsychologist, I still suffer from extreme fatigue, and I still have no memory of the accident, or the first few weeks of my recovery. I'm told I never will.
Curiously, I do remember world events - far better than I remember my own life. So going back to political discussion programmes sees me paddling and quacking away happily. This summer, then, is going to be a treat.
I am presenting a Saturday morning political programme for Radio Four, alternating with a former colleague, Dennis Sewell. We'll have time to focus on issues and areas of debate that the stuff of the parliamentary sessions, at Westminster and Holyrood, regularly crowds out. Dennis started the series - Talking Politics - yesterday, with a state-of-the-nation overview. On Saturday, I'll be looking at British foreign policy, how Britain sees itself in the world, and how it is seen by the rest of the world, at the start of a new century.
Are we attempting to punch above our weight? Are we burdened by our imperial past (and the Scots were as enthusiastic about colonising the world as the English!)? Are our policies on Iraq, Sierra Leone or the Balkans good and effective?
I'm looking forward to it tremend-ously - not least the programme from Edinburgh at the end of August, covering the battle for the leadership of the Scottish National Party, and aspects of Scottish land reform.
If that were not enough, I have the privilege of stroking another pet favourite - the arts. All the world is in Edinburgh in August, and I'm doing some reviewing for Radio Scotland (where I started my working life) - another treat!
Furthermore, for Edinburgh citizens there'll be a new wavelength (with which I'm involved) to try out. During August 106.9FM is home to Castle FM. It started yesterday, and promises to add to the rich cultural life of Scotland.
If I'm sounding rather Pollyanna-like, indulge me. It's been a fair effort climbing back into working mode, and I'm simply so pleased and relieved to have got this far.
What I won't do is go back to my old workaholic ways. As you may have already discovered - and if you have not, give it earnest thought - there is more to life than work. But having something interesting and challenging to do adds a unique spice to life. Hence the cultural explosion that is the Edinburgh Festival.
For just a few weeks every year, all roads lead to the Scottish capital, which becomes home to people from all over the world - a benign colonisation. So I'll be there.
And apart from the superficial pleasure at being back, how do I find the world that I nearly left prematurely? Brave and new, obviously, but just as dangerous and hypocritical as it ever was, if not more so; pessimists could see us accelerating as a human race to early extinction - but then there is also a basic goodness in so many folk. They may get things wrong sometimes, be they the local postie or the Prime Minister (or indeed the programme presenter and producer), but most of us mean well. And I reject what is popularly described as the close relationship between the road to hell and good intention.
And what is my five-year plan? My 10-year plan? What is yours? It is very fashionable these days to attempt to manage your time, not to waste a moment, to be a veritable Gradgrind of industrious activity for activity's sake. Since the accident, I look at the world I live in with hope and horror.
The best laid plans, I discovered, can indeed gang agley, as swiftly as a mouse's existence is ended by a harvester. So I do not live for today or even live every day as if it were my last - but I do make the most I can out of every day. And I am daring to once again plan for the future. In 10 years I fully expect to be sorry, no space to tell you right now, but I will let you know!
Sheena McDonald and Dennis Sewell alternately present political magazine show Talking Politics on Radio Four, Saturdays, 11.00 - 11.30am
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