Take a lesson on how to manage your boss

HE'S rude, he's moody and he can't even change the paper in the photocopier. You spend more time in his company than your dearly- beloved partner. And he's your boss.

One of the trickiest political challenges faced by many people at work is that of managing the boss - and we are talking both male and female here. A difficult, unproductive relationship with a line manager is one of the greatest sources of stress to people. And it stops you working effectively because all your bile is reserved for the demon who controls your destiny.

"He was ruining my life," said Sharon Oliver, who works as an administration officer in a large Glasgow finance house. "Sometimes he was fine and then he just changed on a whim. He would shout and bawl and become very rude if I was on the phone when he wanted to speak to me." Sharon enjoyed her job but felt she had to do something about the situation. She often thought of quitting but eventually plucked up the courage to confront him with the problem. "We work in an open plan office, so I arranged to have a half an hour in one of the private meeting rooms and we talked about it. "He said he didn't realise he was being so awful and he was genuinely surprised that his behaviour was upsetting me and others. ''I'm glad I raised the issue. It hasn't solved everything, but life has improved and I now feel more in control of my life." Jane Clarke, a director in the business psychology consultancy Nicholson McBride, has looked at how to manage your boss in her book Office Politics: A Survival Guide, and offers some sound help on how to cope with the bully in a suit. She says in extreme cases, you can find a department united against a common enemy - the boss - but that's just about the only positive knock-on effect that poor management can produce. It's surprising how many people are reluctant to stand up their boss and actively manage the situation. But why should you have to manage your boss? Surely they're supposed to be managing you? The regular cry is: "I'm scared to do anything because it could damage my career." First you have to find out what it is that is wrong. This generally falls into four categories: Flexibility problems: is your boss flexible or rigid? Does he listen or just tell you? Is he a compromiser or dogmatic? Attitude problems: Is your boss trustworthy, ethical and fair? Developmental problems: Does your boss have people focus or task focus? Does your boss empower or control people? Does he help personal development or repress it? Competence problems: Is he organised or chaotic, effective or ineffective? Does he have credibility or does he lack respect? Using these categories you can define the problem, identify the cause, understand its effect, come up with a remedy and then review that remedy. Easier said than done and this is when you have to take action. Dealing with the situation is all about making your views known. This needs to be done in a constructive way, making your boss aware that there are differences between his view and yours. It's problem- solving rather than having an argument. So what can you do? l Pick the right time and place - in private, when you both have time to talk about the issue. l Be emphatic - just because this person is your boss, it doesn't mean to say they don't have some feelings. Put yourself in their shoes. Tell the boss how his behaviour is impacting on your home life. l Give a balanced view - state what you do like about their approach, not just what you don't like. l Remember at all times that you want to solve the problem. l Listen to their point of view. l Be open about the way in which you like to be treated - and explain why. l Be constructive ... offer your suggestions for solutions. l Be on the lookout for non-verbal signals, which may indicate that you don't really have their attention or agreement to the fact there's a problem. Examples of this include a failure to make eye contact, an inability to concentrate, general impatience, nodding and agreeing when you don't really feel they're interested, and a lack of listening. l Work to get an agreement. Using some of these principles, it is possible for you to coach your boss. Don't position a meeting as such: it could appear to be presumptuous, patronising or just plain inappropriate. But you can be in the driving seat - subtly and productively. Once you have tackled a particular issue, it is necessary to review the results and maintain the dialogue. One meeting doesn't sort out all the problems. Behaviours don't transform themselves overnight and there are hiccups. "Escalating the matter may feel like an extreme measure, but it can often be what is required to sort the problem out - kill or cure, as they say," says Jane Clarke. If it is a case of pure bullying remember that many people are victims purely because they are good at their job and popular with people. One way is to inform yourself - read up on the subject and visit the website of Tim Field, who runs the National Workplace Advice Line website - www.successunlimited.co.uk. Office Politics: A Survival Guide. The Industrial Society, 0171- 479 2000. Website: www.indsoc.co.uk

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