Family friends - Family Friends Project in Washington, D.C

"I don't think I could love another family like I love this family right here," says 59-year-old Lucille Hall. "Rain, snow, hail, I'm here to see them." As she hugs three of the young children of Tina Thomas, Hall Beams. "These children are my project. Since I've been coming here they've come a long way."

Hall is a volunteer in the pilot Family Friends Project sponsored by The National Council on the Aging, Inc. (NCOA). The project, which began in Washington, D.C. last SEptember , has brought together 41 older volunteers with 50 families who have either handicapped or chronically ill children. The pilot project, which was funded with foundation grants, primarily from the Robert Wood Johnson, the Eugene and Agnes Meyer and the Atlantic Richfield foundations, has recently been extended for 18 months.

three days a week Hall packs a plastic bag filled with snacks, books, crayons and other materials for children's activities and goes by bus or in a friend's car the two miles to the small, 3-room inner-city apartment of her adopted family. Here, 23-year-old Tina Thomas lives with her parents and her four children, ages 3 1/2 months to five years.

Hall comes primarily because of Thomas' 5-year-old daughter, Lisa, who is severely mentally retarded. Lisa is obese, visually impaired, does not talk and is not yet toilet trained. She has just learned to walk, having had great difficulty supporting 62 pounds on her short frame.

Thomas Doesn't always have enough money for the disposable diapers needed for Lisa and the new baby. The nutritious, low-calorie food required for Lisa's diet is an expensive luxury, not a staple.

Hall, who retired from her job as a printer's assistant at the Interstate Commerce Commission a year ago, had been searching for something to fill her idle hours. Hearing about the Family Friends Project's need for volunteers, she went for an interview and was signed up within a day.

Through her work with Thomas and her children, Hall has become more than a friend.

"Tina asked me to be her grandmother because her other grandmother is dead," says Hall. "I'm not ready to be anyone's grandmother yet," she laughs, "but I said I'd be her aunt."

Embracing Lisa, Hall continues. "I've taught her to patty-cake, and I've been teaching all the children good manners. I read stories and always bring a little something nutritious to eat."

Hall's visits relieve some of the pressures and reponsibilities on the young mother. "I love to talk to Mrs. Hall," Thomas says. "I ask her for advice. If I need to go to the hospital [emergency room], she'll come over so I don't have to take all the kids with me."

Currently, Hall is trying to help Thomas find a house with more room. "I've been inquiring all around, but places are so high," she says, shaking her head.

According to Meridith Miller, director of the Family Friends Project, the problems faced by the Thomases are typical of those of others in teh project. They are generally low-income families, with half having an income of less than $10,000 a year. Most are District and half are single female heads-of-households.

Each family has a chronically ill or handicapped child, ranging in age from a few weeks to 12 years old, and many are multiply handicapped, like Lisa Thomas. Each family has been referred or sponsored by a teacher, doctor, social worker, nurse or other professional. Miller indicates that the referral helps assure that the family is stable enough to participate in the program.

While the Thomases are representative of families served by the project, the volunteers cannot be so easily typified, except that all but three are women. Volunteers range in age from 55 to 87, Miller explains, and come from a wide variety of occupations--retired government workers, nurses, homemakers and, in one case, a missionary. Although eight have never had children of their own, they all have and experience either raising children of relatives or helping in educational programs.

Their average income is $15,000 a year, which, Miller explain, is high for the elderly population of the Washington, D.C. area. Their educatioin is also above the average.

On a spring afternoon, Barbara Bush recognized Family Friends volunteers with a tea at the Vice President's residence.

"That tea was glorious. Everything ws so nice," says Tamar Palmer, 64, a Family Friends volunteer, a native of Jamaica and a Washington, D.C. resident. But nothing cound be as glorious as Palmer's time with "her" child, 12-year-old Rosalind Bishop. Rosalind, who is wheelchair bound, has cerebral palsy and is mentally retarded.

"how are you, sweetie pie? Do you remember what we're going to do this week?" Palmer asks when she greets Rosalind on a regular Saturday morning visit at the Bishop's apartment in a low-income housing project.

rosalind nods, her eyes sparkling.

"Rosalind, you are the smartest child!" Palmer laughs.

She empties a large bag filled with stories, paints, workbooks and games made from household scraps. Palmer has carefully planned every activity with Rosalind's limited finger dexterity and learning level in mind.

they begin with the painting project. Rosalind paints one side of an old bottle; Palmer paints the other side.

"Remember how you wipe your brush," Palmer reminds her. She continues lovingly, "Stroke down, down, down. This can be your penny bank. Remember I've been saving pennies for you?"

Rosalind carefully strokes with her brush, her grasp the clutch of a baby. She beams. "You said I'd be rich."

"She's so smart, she remembered!" Palmer throws her head back in a laugh of enormous pride and pleasure.

Before joining the project in September, Palmer had not laughed in a long time. She says the Family Friends Project is responsible for getting her out of a serious depression she experienced for three years after the death of her husband in 1981.

"I wanted something to occupy my days. I didn't know how to get out. I couldn't go back to my job as a nurse at Howard University because my husband had worked there, too, and I would always be reminded of him there."

A friend gave her the Family Friends application form and brought her to the project office for an interview. One week later she was in training. "It has done a lot for me," Palmer says softly.

"The project has brought many elderly people back into the mainstream of society," Miller acknowleges. "When they know a child is depending on them, they feel needed and forget their own aches and pains."

Miller notes that many of the volunteers are recently retired or widowed, or have children and granchildren who live far away. "Time can weigh heavily for them with no kids and no jobs."

She hastens to add, "Some are so active, however, that we can never get in touch with them. We do have a real mixture."

Volunteers have found the two weeks of training they receive before placement with familiers particularly helpful, Miller notes. Lectures and discussion led by professional in the areas of mental retardation, developmental delays, behavior management and psycho-social issues that the volunteers might encounter on their assignments make up the first training week.

Thw second week includes hands-on experiences with outpatients of the Hospital for Sich Children in Washington, D.C. In addition, volunteers receive information about community resources and learn first aid and emergency procedures. "The volunteers loved the training and were really said when it ended," Miller says. "The learning was good, but more importantly it provided structure to their days."

Each month the volunteers return to the project office in small groups for additional training and to share their experiences and receive support. They also meet individually with Miller or Jane Diao, a social worker and NCOA staff member.

"I love meeting with the group every month," Lucille Hall says. "I like to hear how the children of the other volunteers are changing."

According to Diao, most of the questions volunteers ask once they've been on the job are about community resources--how to help their families with housing, medical or financial needs, and how to help parents and siblings of the handicapped child.

Dr. Beverly Powell, a pediatrician and Clinical Coordinator of the Exceptional Family Member Program at Walter Reed Army Medical Center, is an adviser to the project and has referred many of the families to Family Friends. She says that she is delighted to see many of the potential benefits of this intergenerational endeavor coming to fruition: Family Friends are providing moral support to the families, helping them follow medical regimens and teaching activities that will aid in the child's development. Moreover, they serve as valuable role models and counselors.

Although volunteers receive $12.00 per visit and some transportation costs, Miller says they seem to prefer Family Friends to a part-time job because they are motivated by the project's service and humanitarian aspects. "They frequently ask for the neediest families because there's more for them to offer," she notes.

Recalling her first visit to the Thomas family, Hall says, "When I came in and saw Lisa and all the other children and none would come to me, I thought, 'No way. I can't cope. I can't go back.' The staff reminded me about the love and the patience I'd told them I had. I thought about it and went back."

"Now," Miller laughs, "we can't tear Lucille away."

As Hall sits with Lisa at her side, her sisters on her shoulder and lap, it is clear that she has not just learned to cope. She has become a family friend.

Based on the positive response to the Washington, D.C. project, NCOA plans to bring Family Friends to other communities--and Miller cities a precedent for expanding NCOA's intergenerational programming. Twenty years ago, NCOA piloted another intergenrational project called Tender Loving Care. It became known as Foster Grandparents, and 18,000 older volunteers now serve 54,000 children in 50 states, th district of Columbia, the virgin Islands and puerto Rico.

In August 1985, The National Council on the Aging transferred operation of the Washington, D.C. Family Friends Project to a local chronic care pediatric hospital, the Hospital for Sick Children. Dr. Constance Battle, Medical Director and Chief Executive Officer of the Hospital, has been the chair of the project's advosiry committee and actively involved with Family Friends since its beginning. Funding for the continuation of the Washington pilot project is provided by the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation and the Gulf + Western Foundation.

NCOA then plans to replicate the pilot porject in approximately eight different metropolitan areas. The new Family Friends projects are expected to begin in 1986, following a competitive selection process, with funding primarily by the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation. Efforts will also be made to provide support to a variety of organizations to sponsor these projects to demonstrate the effectivenss and feasibility of this intergenerational program model for meeting the needs of older individuals, disabled children and their families nationwide. The eight projects will receive continuing training, assistance and supervision by NCOA staff.

Further information on Family Friends may be obtained from Meridith Miller, Ph.D., Project director, The National Council on the Aging, 600 Maryland Ave., S.W., Washington, D.C. 20024.

COPYRIGHT 1985 U.S. Government Printing Office
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