Terry Butcher: Now my book signing tour is finally over, I'm hoping

I ENTERED the final leg of my book-signing sessions last week with a great sense of relief after all the controversy it has caused.

But if you thought that was going to pass without incident I can only assume you've taken up residence on another planet.

Just when the first signing had passed without a minor scuffle breaking out, a young boy approached me in a store in Glasgow and politely asked me to sign a book for his father, George.

A nicer lad you couldn't wish to meet.

Sadly, I couldn't say the same about his mother, who erupted with so much fury when he walked out of the store to give her the book that she seemed to give serious thought to burning the store down.

It turns out her husband is a Celtic fan and the boy got a swift clip round the ear for his troubles.

It was only the intervention of the store's security people that prevented a more serious incident though.

After giving the lad what for, she pulled a lighter out of her bag and set light to my book.

I know it has had mixed reviews but that was taking things a bit too far.

I left the store quite bemused by it all but was brought back down to earth when some Celtic fans unleashed a load of abuse on me.

After that it just went from bad to worse.

I went into training on Thursday and one of the lads decided to crack a joke about one of our injured players. 'He used to play for us, didn't he?' he asked. I might have guessed that, having been absent for a while because of my book, someone would follow that up with: 'Look it's Terry Butcher, he used to manage Motherwell, didn't he?'

The week just went down hill after that.

I did a signing session at Costco on Thursday and when I saw a signed Argentine shirt from Diego Maradona on display that put me in a right foul mood.

Then some bloke comes into the store and asks me to sign it for his good friend from... Poland. It was like pulling teeth trying to get the spelling out of him. Then he tries to leg it out of the store without paying for the book.

The staff gave chase and eventually caught up with him but he didn't have enough money so they confiscated the book. I asked them why they didn't call the local police. They replied: 'Are you out of your mind? They are all Celtic supporters, they would have arrested you instead.'

I had to make a swift trip across town to another Costco store. It was the final book signing session, no more, thank God. Then bugger me if that signed Diego Maradona shirt hadn't followed me.

Anyone who knows me will be aware I hate that cheating little Argentine after his hand of crap goal in the 1986 World Cup finals.

I asked the bloke in the store how much they wanted for it. It was up for sale for pounds 175 and I seriously thought about buying it and wiping my **** with it.

Copyright 2005 MGN LTD
Provided by ProQuest Information and Learning Company. All rights Reserved.