The Outsider Robin Wilson

I am once again stuck at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport (here in the future). I think I��ll head over to the greatest airport arcade on planet Earth, Aurora Borealis over in Concourse A. I��m psyched when I get there because they have just installed the PlayStation 3 Arcade Edition. This thing rocks! It looks a lot like the PS3 demo units at the mall, but it��s modified with built-in broadband access, a memory stick port, and a hard drive loaded up with all the most popular PS3 games, including Enter the Matrix 6, Clank 3: Return to the Valley of Ratchet, and, of course, Metal Gear Solid 5: Snake Goes to Space.

Gosh, they all sound fun, but what I really want to do is to unlock one those limited-edition weapons in God of War: Vampires of Vietnam. See, only by completing the arcade-exclusive levels of the game can I unlock and retain on my memory stick a really kick-ass sword that slows down time or something. But it shouldn��t be a problem because I��m so good and my flight doesn��t leave for two hours. After winning the scepter thing, I visit the arcade-exclusive weapons shop to buy the special armor lotion that you can only get here at the arcade (here in the future). I shine up my suit with the special goop, save the game to my memory stick, and head to the PS3 Main menu.

Hmm, what next? I know: I��ll load up my garage from Grand Theft Auto: Atlantis Reborn and take my yacht out for a little cruise. Or maybe I��ll sign on to the Interweb and play Midnight Club 6: The Midwest Edition. I��ve almost unlocked Milwaukee, and if I can just make that stupid turn without hitting any of the kids in the park, then I can finally buy another flatscreen for the trunk.

A few weeks ago (here in the future), I took my first son, the quintuplets, and my wife��s clone to GameWorks to celebrate the end of the war in Iraq, and boy oh boy did we have a great time! We all strapped in to that giant PS3 multiplayer arena in the center of the place. Remember when it used to be a stupid shooter where you flew around in a chair and shot at balloons with a lightgun? That thing sucked. Thank the Force they replaced it with the PS3 arena when Sony forced them to.

And now (here in the future) my friends and family and all our clones and robots can bring our memory sticks to the arcade and play our favorite games to unlock arcade-exclusive weapons and cars and play arcade-exclusive levels online. It��s a beautiful world we live in.

Robin Wilson is lead singer for the Gin Blossoms, who spend a lot of time in airports and casinos. Find him on 1UP at theoutsider.1UP.com

Copyright © 2004 Ziff Davis Media Inc. All Rights Reserved. Originally appearing in Official U.S. PlayStation Magazine.