Six steps to success: going somewhere? Fill your dream suitcase with these success secrets and keep that destination in sight - focus - Cover Story

For Sondra Clark of Bellingham, Washington, life is good. She has traveled to Africa as a spokesperson for the relief organization Childcare International. Now the 14-year-old treks around the United States to encourage donations for the organization and to promote her own books. She has authored five of them.

Sondra's accomplishments have not gone unnoticed. She has made more than 35 television and radio appearances. She has traveled for free and ridden in limousines. She has earned nearly $8,000 from nine major awards.

But it's not about the fame and fortune for Sondra. She's more proud that some of her book proceeds go to help underprivileged children than she is of being a published author. She saw children in Africa with no education or career goals and little hope. To them, success means "finding fresh water within two miles of their hut," she explains.

Back home, the experience inspired her to speak at schools and to organizations about setting goals and achieving dreams. Now that advice is included in her book You've Got What It Takes! Sondra's Tips for Making Your Dreams Come True.

Dream Big

Few of us will make a splash as big or in quite the same way as Sondra. But we all have the ability to dream big and to realize those dreams.

Success starts in the here and now. The founder of Aric Bostick Success Training says it's important to get in the habit of success. "There are winners and losers in life. Winners are people who practice winning, and losers do things to cause [themselves] to lose over and over again," Bostick says.

Even if you don't yet have a clue about what your future career will be, you can still work at making it feel normal to do well. That way, when you do start a career, success will come more naturally. From good grades to honing a talent to getting along with others, there are many ways to win.

Here are six key steps recommended by those who consider themselves successful:

1. Develop a vision.

Vision is seeing your purpose in life, and knowing who you are and what you see yourself doing with your talents and desires, says author Stedman Graham in Teens Can Make It Happen: Nine Steps for Success. "Opportunities are there for all of us, but we have to seize the right ones ... based on our own visions for our lives."

In Bostick's motivational speaking career, he keeps in touch with his vision of having a positive, lasting effect on every person he meets.

Build a road map of smaller goals on your way to achieving your bigger dreams. "If you can envision it, chances are you can achieve it. If you can believe it, you can be it," say Tina Schwager and Michele Schuerger in their book Cool Women, Hot Jobs. Goals are the key, and clear ones are specific and measurable. While experts suggest asking adults for advice, they caution that your goals should reflect what's important to you alone.

A recent goal for high school runner Sariah St. Laurent, 18, of Oceanside, California, was to be noticed for all the hard work she puts into training. Making it into the newspaper was her measure of success, and succeed she did.

It's all a part of Sariah's bigger plans. Future goals include being one of the state's top 10 athletes in cross country, continuing to earn good grades, getting into Brigham Young University, and running for their four-time national championship team.

2. Develop supportive relationships.

"I have a whole group of people I can talk to who keep me on the path," says Bostick of his speaking aspirations. Who believes in and encourages you? These people can help you work toward your goals. They make up what Graham calls your "dream team," which you can build by learning to trust others and by earning their trust.

3. Seek mentors and role models.

I Those who have what you want in life make ideal members of your dream team. When Alyssa Whitcher, 17, of Sinclairville, New York, wants to talk about her career goals of becoming a book illustrator, working on the creative side of the movie business, or creating video games, she knows her art teacher, Mr. Wolfe, will listen. "He's cool and he gives me good advice," she says.

Anyone who's had an influence on your life, even someone you admire but can't meet personally, can help you succeed. Share your hopes and dreams with a mentor. Learn from a famous role model by researching all you can about the person's life philosophy, motivations, inspirations, achievements, struggles, and strategies for dealing with challenges, say Schwager and Schuerger. To get hooked up with a potential mentor you don't know personally, ask everyone you do know if he or she can refer you to someone in your career area of interest.

4. Hone communication skills.

Expanding your network of supportive relationships often depends on meeting new people on your own. One way to do this is to participate in programs, even when you don't know anyone, says Sondra. Anna Elizabeth, 13, did just that recently. The Fayetteville, Georgia, teen went on a church trip when she hardly knew anyone. "By the time I came back, I had made many, many new friends," she says.

Social skills such as giving compliments, accepting compliments with a "thanks," and apologizing when necessary, lead to successful relationships, experts say.

5. Manage time and minimize stress.

Successful people have often learned (sometimes the hard way) that running themselves ragged accomplishes little. "I get things done, and I don't play around, but I also know when to sit back and relax and enjoy what I am doing," Sariah says. "If there is no longer fun in what you do, then it's not worth your time." Instead of letting problems get you down, find ways to relax and solve them calmly, experts say.

With her attention on her art, doing well in the last two years of high school, and getting her driver's license, Alyssa recently felt pressed for time. So she has dropped karate class, an intense activity that doesn't directly relate to her goals, for now.

6. Share gifts with others. Sondra, who has helped raise more than $65,000 for Childcare International, has given a lot of her time and talents to inspire others to help. The images from her trip to Africa--such as kids her age begging her for money and babies fighting dogs for garbage--will remain with Sondra. But now she knows that some of those children will get an education, three meals a day, and medical care.

Road Trip Essentials

Reaching your goals can be a long process. For some people, it's a lifelong one. But experiences along the way can be just as rewarding as reaching a destination. "The process ... can be one filled with learning, growth, fun, and fulfillment. It all depends on how you choose to look at it," say Schwager and Schuerger.

Do you have the right attitude and outlook for success? Consider the following important personal traits:

Imagination. This helps in creating a vision because it allows you to dream big. Schwager and Schuerger believe building imagination is like building a muscle--you have to use it to strengthen it. To look beyond the obvious, slow down and give your mind the chance to go wild with possibilities.

Persistence. The path to success is not typically smooth. "There are always going to be some rocks on the road of life, but you just have to get through them and keep that [positive] attitude going," says Ty, 14, of Edgewood, New Mexico.

Bostick suggests asking yourself: What's wonderful about my life right now? Where do I want to go? "We can learn to let detours just be small curves on the path," he says.

"Failing is not getting back up after a fall," says Alyssa, who suffers from severe chronic migraine headaches. "School isn't easy when your head feels like it's going to explode day after day." Yet, she doesn't let the situation or her condition affect her artistic goals. "The migraines urge me to keep moving and defying what disbelievers say. People can't corrupt my dreams. I won't let them. I want them more than ever now."

Flexibility. Because we grow and change, and because circumstances may make us change, successful people know how to create backup plans. "It is impossible to move ahead while staying where you are.... Some change will be necessary," Graham says. Many people get stuck by continuing to do what's not getting them where they want to be. "Be open to new things, new possibilities, new paths," say Schwager and Schuerger.

Optimism. "If you look for the best, you'll find the best," says Sondra, adding that she inherited a constant smile on her face from her father. When you're naturally upbeat, others tend to want to be around you, Bostick says. And those with people around them tend to stand out as leaders. Even the poorest, weakest, and least popular of us have the power to achieve, Graham says. "Without that belief, every dream will turn to dust."

Self-confidence. At the beginning of presentations, Bostick will tear off his shirt to reveal a Superman T-shirt underneath. Then he'll tell the story of his being abused as a child and talk about how his life changed after reading a book on success in ninth grade. Each morning from then on, the first thing he would do is pump his fist and shout "Whoo!" That confidence stays with him all day.

No matter what your dreams are, you won't reach them without self-confidence, say the authors of Coo, Women, Hot Jobs. Breaking larger goals into smaller steps can help in gaining confidence because you'll complete tasks frequently. Also, try looking back on what you've already achieved in your life and what it took to get there.

Follow-through. Some people might see a list of Sondra's honors and think she's lucky. But each of those awards required her to fill out applications, write essays, get reference letters, and meet deadlines. She says, "It's great to have huge dreams, but you need to actually do something to make the dreams come true."

Alyssa adds that it's important to hold onto your dreams, even if someone is threatening them. "Don't allow anyone or anything to steal your heart and soul," she advises.

Healthy risk-taking. Ty recently tested into a prestigious private school, and he says that enrolling is the biggest risk he's ever taken. "It was and still is nerve-wracking at times. But I think that it will definitely help me," he explains. Ty's rock-climbing hobby is risky in a different way. But climbing teaches lessons like patience and careful decision making, and he has even placed in some local competitions.

"Taking risks is what makes life interesting," says Sondra, who was afraid to go to Africa as an 11-year-old. She's glad she went, though, because the benefits were greater than the risks.

Bravery. What does fear stand for? "False Evidence Appearing Real," according to Bostick. It takes both faith in your abilities and courage to face your fears, Graham adds. "You will never experience success if you are not willing to risk failure. And if you do fail, you can learn from the experience and try again."

For More Information

National Mentoring Partnership www.mentoring.org Click on "Find a Mentor."

Six Steps to Success

Students will become aware of techniques and personal traits that lead to success.

REVIEW/DISCUSS

* What are six steps to success? (Set goals, develop supportive relationships, have mentors and role models, hone communication skills, manage time and minimize stress, and share gifts.)

* What personal traits are important to success? (imagination, persistence, optimism, self-confidence, follow-through, healthy risk-taking, and bravery)

* What is your personal definition of success?

* How can you develop the traits associated with success in yourself?.

ACTIVITIES

* Encourage students to visualize what they would like to be doing in 5 or 10 years. Have them jot down their goals.

* Ask students to circle the goals that are most important to them and to add more of their own:

Helping others

Being creative

Being financially well off

Having a leadership position

Having a fulfilling job

Having a spouse and/or family

Other:--

* Have students list the traits of successful people that apply to them.

* Invite them to write "prescriptions" for how they can acquire or develop the traits for success.

* Assign students to keep logs of experiences that make them feel successful.

* Have students read biographies of successful people and report to the class on the person's mentors, role models, supportive relationships, time management, and communication skills, as well as the personal traits responsible for the person's success.

* Invite students to map out plans for developing their reading, writing, speaking, and listening skills--through classes, extracurricular activities, and other pursuits.

* Guide students in completing Reproduction Master 1 applying the six steps to success. "Back to the Basics," five videos, $299.95; "The Exceptional Employee," video, $79.95; "Goal Away," video, $98; "Life After High School," video, $89.95; Linx Educational, P.O. Box 50009, Jacksonville Beach, FL 32240-0009, (800) 717-5469. "Succeeding on the Job," CD-ROM, $159.95; "A+ in the Workplace," video, $99.95; "Business Communication," four videos, $299.95; Meridian Education Corporation, PO. Box 911, Monmouth Junction, NJ 08852-0911, (800) 727-5507. "Achieving Success," video, $50; Social Studies School Service, 10200 Jefferson Blvd., P.O. Box 802, Culver City, CA 90232-0802, (800) 421-4246.

Name

Step Up to Success

Directions: Answer the following questions related to the steps leading to success.

1. Vision: List two long-term goals, along with three key steps to accomplishing each.

a. Goal:

Step #1:

Step #2:

Step #3:

b. Goal:

Step #1:

Step #2:

Step #3:

2. Supportive Relationships: Which family members, friends, neighbors, teachers, and other people will support you in achieving your goals?

3. Mentors and Role Models

a. Who can serve as a mentor for you? How?

b. Who is a role model for you, and why do you look up to him or her?

4. Communication Skills: Give examples of something you have done recently (or intend to do) to build your skills in these areas:

a. Listening skills:

b. Writing skills:

c. Reading skills:

d. Speaking skills:

e. Social skills:

5. Time and Stress Management

a. To practice time management, develop a time line for yourself for an upcoming major project.

b. Which of the following stress reduction techniques are most effective for you?

Making lists    Exercise       Yoga                 Breathing exercises
Writing         Music          Talking to friends   E-mailing
Watching TV     Socializing    Other:

6. Sharing: What talents or special skills and abilities do you have that you can share with others?

7. Traits for Success: Choose two of the traits below and give an example of someone's behavior that illustrates each. The examples can come from real life, film, television, books, and so forth.

Imagination      Self-confidence   Bravery              Persistence
Follow-through   Optimism          Healthy risk-taking

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