In the Name of the Family: Rethinking Family Values in the Postmodern Age

JUDITH STACEY. In the Name of the Family: Rethinking Family Values in the Postmodern Age. Boston, MA: Beacon Press, 1996. 194 Pages. $22.00.

Judith Stacey's book, In the Name of the Family, "seeks to examine and challenge the rhetoric and politics of family values" (2). In this well-written and well-documented book, Stacey contributes a passionate but reasoned voice to the family-values debates, with an emphasis on the critical importance of an understanding and nonpunitive view of the problems that face many families. She argues that two key elements are missing in the ongoing family-values debates. One element is a true understanding of the realities of family life for most Americans. "The Family" idealized by many of the voices in the family-values wars does not exist -- rather, families assume many shapes and forms, and all family types have strengths as well as vulnerabilities. Stacey argues convincingly that we must be realistic and accept the fact that family diversity is here to stay. Secondly, Stacey voices a passionate plea for the importance of extending respect and support for all family types in order to develop more inclusive societal views as well as family policies that truly foster well-being for individuals and families: "What we need to promote instead of divisive, self-righteous family values are inclusive, democratic, and compassionate social values."

Although feminism has had an impact on changes in families, Stacey argues that economic pressures have been the major factor in increases in divorce rates, working mothers, and two-earner households, and that these economic pressures have crossed class lines. The reality is that both workingclass and middle-class women are assuming major responsibility for their children as well as for elderly relatives, typically while holding down full-time jobs. Stacey notes ironically that the public outcries bemoaning the negative effects of working mothers and day care on families have consistently overlooked men's family behaviors. Instead, women are castigated for emphasizing their personal and career interests over the well-being of their families, even though most women must work for financial reasons.

The recent public interest in the problem of "fatherlessness" could indicate a new direction in our understanding of gender influences on family roles. Why are men typically less involved in family life than women? If, indeed, this recent public interest does result in efforts to increase men's active involvement with their families and responsibility for their children, then surely those on both sides of the family-values debates will be happy. Stacey notes, however, that much of our culture's concern with fatherlessness blames women and feminism for men's absence from families. Women are being blamed for "developing unreasonable familial expectations of men that frighten men away - particularly in regard to equal treatment and shared responsibility for children and housework" (35).

The problem, as Stacey sees it, lies not so much within families as with societal circumstances that lead to pervasive and far-reaching problems for families today. Our society's continuing nostalgia for the 1950s Ozzie and Harriet family takes attention away from the realities of the economic and social insecurities faced by families. Providing financial security has become the major family concern of parents. As a result, the household form that is becoming the new statistical norm is the dual-earner, heterosexual married couple with children.

In the final chapter, Stacey argues that we can learn much about family well-being by examining the experiences and struggles of contemporary gay and lesbian families. Our society is currently embroiled in a major debate over gay and lesbian marriage, and Stacey notes that gay marriage would strengthen the ranks of intact, twoparent families so heavily promoted by "profamily" enthusiasts. Because homosexuality is viewed so negatively in our culture, most "profamily" enthusiasts are definitely opposed to gay marriages. However, nearly three decades of research in social science finds that gay and lesbian parents are at least as successful as heterosexuals. Gay and lesbian families provide models of flexibility and adaptability in the face of societal pressures.

Stacey notes that "In the name of children, politicians justify decisions that endanger them, and in the name of The Family, they cause grave harm to our families" (143). If we as a society are truly committed to improving well-being for families, we should "start distributing access to its opportunities, responsibilities, and hazards far more equitably, because for better and/or worse, the postmodern family revolution is here to stay" (37). She concludes: "In the name of our families and democracy, we must move forward, not backward, to address the grave social threats that imperil us all" ( 144).

Donna L. Sollie is a professor in the Department of Human Development and Family Studies and the director of the Women's Studies Program at Auburn University. She is editor, with Leigh Leslie, of Gender, Families, and Close Relationships: Feminist Research Journeys (Sage Publications, 1994).

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