Private Dancer - topless dancer - Brief Article

`Im not ashamed of what I do. I'm good at it. But one day I'd like to have a fully dressed life.'

I'M A TOPLESS DANCER at an upscale gentlemen's club in Las Vegas. I started to dance because my kids and I had to survive. I've stayed in the business because the money is so good and I'm good at it.

I'm one of the most popular dancers. I get all fixed up, look real pretty. I have sequined gowns that I take off very seductively. I go from table to table and say, "Hi, I'm Gina. Would you like a dance?" It's called table dancing. But it's really just about them looking at your boobs. For a while, my stage name was Barbie. I said I'm going to be the first Black Barbie doll. But I went back to Gina. I like that better.

We pay the club 45 bucks each night and then keep everything from the customers. Dances are $20 plus tip. I can make $30 dancing for a minute and a half, and I do 30 or 40 songs a night, so I'm dancing my ass off. I used to work five nights a week for eight hours straight. But it's really hard on your body. So now I dance three nights a week.

To make it as a dancer, you have to have big boobs, long legs--the whole nine. I'm five feet eight and a half inches tall, and I weigh 128 pounds. I work out and stay away from drags and alcohol. I try to be spiritual. Everyone has stereotypes of topless dancers. But you don't have to be on drags or have a pimp or a no-good husband. You can be positive like I am. You can still do it and be okay. Where I work, of 80 dancers, four of us are Black. Clubs will hire an unattractive dancer with blond hair before they hire a beautiful Black one. In fact, there's a club here that won't hire any Black girls. I've been able to work at the better clubs because I have light skin. I know it's racist, but they just want a certain look.

I get my looks from my mother She was 20 when she died, and I was 2. My grandmother will only say her death was of "natural causes." My aunt says they found her in a hotel room. My father wasn't around. My grandparents in Wisconsin raised me, and they gave me a good home and sent me to private schools. But me and my grandmother didn't get along. I think she was afraid of losing me the way she lost my mother.

I ran away and had my first child when I was in my teens. I went on welfare, but I couldn't stand living like that. I wanted money and independence. I wanted to feel good about myself. Then I met this real pretty Italian girl in Milwaukee. She had a Corvette. She told me she was a dancer, and the money was really good. She suggested I try out. I did and was hired on the spot. I made $200 a night. I thought that was a lot. Since then I've worked in Canada and New York, too--always at the better clubs, since I'm able to pass.

Because I work nights and travel, my grandmother raised my sons, ages 13 and 17. My daughter, who's 11, lives with her father in New York. My kids thought I was a model. But one day my grandmother got angry with me over something and said, "Well, at least I don't take my clothes off!" I don't know what my kids think about what I do. I believe the boys like it that I give them so much stuff. They tell me, "I love you, Gina." I'm a very good mother. My daughter is a little dancer herself. But I wouldn't want her to do this for a living.

Dancing is great, though. I've always been an entertainer in my soul. When I was little, relatives would come over and my grandmother would say, "Gina, go on, dance for everybody." That made me feel real good. And I got paid for it, like $5.

I've gotten jewelry from customers. Marriage proposals. I've dated some very high-profile men, though I can't name names. But some customers think they can talk to you any kind of way. They say, "Are your boobs real?" or "How much for the night?" Sometimes they ask about my ethnicity, and when I tell them I'm Black, I can see the change in them, as if I've come down a notch. I don't like the sexism or racism in this business.

When I'm dancing, the only thing I think about is all the money I'm making. I think, Who's next? I'm not there to socialize. And sometimes I think how this is really getting hard, how I'm dragging myself upstairs at the end of the night. When I get home I won't go to bed until I get in the shower and scrub my body. I just don't feel clean.

I don't have a college degree, but I'm not stupid. I've started to save money so that I can retire in a few years, maybe go to school, start a business. Last year my boys came to live with me--things are changing. One day I'm going to have a fully dressed life.

Gina Anderson is writing a book about life as an African-American stripper.

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