Getting past shyness: shyness need not interfere with your ability to find a good job. Here are some ways to make a strong impression at a job interview - Getting Hired

Rachel was a nervous wreck. A thousand nagging questions ran through her head.

What if I say something stupid?

What if I don't know the answers to the questions?

What if I'm wearing the wrong kind of clothes?

She could feel her stomach twist into a knot and her hands begin to perspire.

The door to the manager's office opened, and a smartly dressed, attractive woman approached Rachel and shook her hand. "Hi, I'm Sarah, the manager of this Abernathy & Lynch clothing store. Come on in and have a seat."

As Rachel perched on the stiff little chair across from the gigantic desk, the manager stated in a no-nonsense way, "I need to fill all my fall openings within the next two days, so I don't have much time. Tell me why I should hire you for this job."

Rachel could feel her heart pounding, and her mouth was as dry as sandpaper. She started to speak, but all that came out was a series of half sentences that didn't even make sense to her.

The manager was polite as Rachel left the office, but she knew that she'd never get the job. This was the coolest place to shop for clothes, and Rachel had worked hard to make sure that the application was perfect. She was so disappointed, and she felt like a fool.

Getting Help from a Friend

The next day at school, Rachel sat in the cafeteria feeling sorry for herself. She noticed her friend Jamal laughing and joking with his friends at a nearby table. He had a great job at the music store and never seemed to have trouble talking to anyone.

If only I could be as relaxed as Jamal for one afternoon, I'd be all set, she said to herself. Maybe I'll just ask him how he does it.

That night, Rachel E-mailed Jamal and told him about her horrible job interview at the clothing store. He agreed to help her, and they arranged to have lunch together at school the next day.

The Recovery

"You know, Rachel, you're not shy all the time," Jamal said between bites of pizza "I see you in school, and you have no problem talking to people."

"I know. That's what's so frustrating!" Rachel exclaimed. "I just can't talk to adults when the pressure's on."

"Sure you can talk to adults. You talk to your parents. You talk to teachers. I bet you even talk to adults in the neighborhood," Jamal said with a smile.

"Yeah, I guess you're right; but how do I get over my shyness at job interviews?" Rachel asked. "I'll never get a job if I can't learn to be more open and relaxed."

"You're going to be fine," said Jamal. "Just listen to Dr. Jamal's remedy for shyness, and take good notes."

The Prescription

"First of all, try networking. It's a good way to find out about jobs that aren't advertised. Line up job interviews through the adults you know and feel comfortable with. That way, when you sit down for the interview, you'll already have a connection with the interviewer, and you won't be so shy. By the way, did you know that Maria's father manages security at the mall and knows most of the store owners?

"Second, you need to do the three P's: Plan, Prepare, and Practice. Before you go to an interview, plan how to get there on time, what you're going to wear, and what you're going to say to break the ice. Next, prepare yourself by finding out about the company where you're interviewing and prepare a few questions. If you know a few things about the business and ask intelligent questions, you're bound to impress anyone at an interview. Then find an adult and practice. It may sound stupid, but you'll feel a lot more relaxed during the real interview if you run through it beforehand and get some feedback from your practice interviewer. The biggest advantage to the three P's is that you'll feel more confident when you get to the interview.

"Third, act like you're not shy. It's important to sit up straight, look the interviewer in the eye, and, most importantly, smile. It's a known fact that you look your best when you're flashing your pearly whites at somebody else. It's even OK to tell the interviewer that you're nervous or shy, if it helps you feel better, but you need to look like you're not shy.

"Fourth, listen and ask questions during the interview. Shyness usually disappears when you get into a natural conversation with someone. Try asking the interviewer a question to start things off. Listen to his or her answer and follow along with the conversation.

Believe it or not, sometimes interviewers are shy, too. Your question may help them out as much as it helps you.

"Finally, concentrate on your strengths and good points. Shyness is all about trashing yourself and not feeling that you're good enough. Don't allow yourself to be negative and think you're going to fail. Tell yourself that you'll be successful. Remind yourself about your strong points. Don't brag, but be prepared to talk about what's good about you during the interview."

What If?

Rachel looked up from her notes and said, "OK, this all makes sense to me, but what if it doesn't work? What if I can't get over my shyness? What if I can't get a job?"

Jamal smiled and leaned over the table. "Everybody has to deal with shyness sometime. I read somewhere that 93 percent of all adults admit to feeling shy in at least some situations. Don't worry, you're going to be fine."

"What if I'm not fine?" Rachel asked in a serious tone of voice.

"If you can't get over the job interview jitters, then you can try volunteering or interning somewhere," Jamal suggested. "Sometimes intents and volunteers are offered jobs after employers check out their skills. You can get information about internships and volunteer placements from the guidance office."

"But what if my shyness is a bigger problem and I can't overcome it?" Rachel persisted.

Jamal looked her straight in the eye. "Sometimes people need help when a problem gets too big for them to handle alone. Maybe you could talk with your guidance counselor if you decide that shyness is a problem that really gets in the way of doing what you want to do with your life."

Success at Last

About a week later, Rachel ran up to Jamal in the cafeteria and gave him a great big hug.

"Jamal, you won't believe it!" she exclaimed. "You are looking at the newest sales associate at Colombian Parrot Fashions!"

"Wow, that's the hottest new store in the mall. How did you ever get a job there?" asked Jamal.

"Mrs. Wilson, who lives down the street, went to college with the manager, so she called him and helped me get a job interview," Rachel explained. "After that, I just followed Dr. Jamal's prescription, and the rest was easy."

"That's great, but now you have to pay Dr. Jamal's bill," he said with a wink. "First you'll have to carry my books for a week, then I'd like to have pizza with the works at lunchtime, after that...."

RELATED ARTICLE: Overcoming Shyness

Susan RoAne is an internationally acclaimed author and speaker. For the past 21 years, she has advised business professionals about how to improve their networking, communication, and personal interaction skills. Before starting her business career, RoAne was a middle school language arts teacher for 13 years. She's the author of What Do I Say Next? and How to Work a Room.

RoAne offers the following advice for teenagers who find that shyness is a concern for them:

If at First You Don't Succeed...

You have every right to sulk if you're rejected in a job interview, but only for a little while. Then get out and do something for someone else. Help out at Special Olympics, offer your time at a senior citizens' center, or pitch in during a community clean-up day. This does a number of things for you: It makes you realize that you have something to offer, it puts you in contact with other people, and most importantly, it builds your self-esteem.

Getting Ready for Interviews

Talking to adults can be difficult for many teenagers. Try asking adults you know if they would help you get ready for an interview. You could ask an aunt or an uncle, a neighbor, or a parent of a friend. Pay careful attention to the questions they ask during the practice interview because they'll probably resemble the questions that you'll be asked in a real interview.

Sharpening Your Communication Skills

You have to develop good conversational skills to get the career you want. Successful people need to communicate their ideas clearly and get along well with other people. My OAR technique can help improve your communication skills:

* Observe the way people interact. Watch how they talk to one another. Pay attention to what they talk about.

* Ask good questions. Show that you're interested in other people by asking questions about topics of interest to them. Don't ask too many questions, though, or you come across like an interviewer.

* Reveal something about yourself. Be open to talking about yourself. Tell others about what interests you. You may find that you have a lot in common.

Developing Conversational Skills

You need to develop a certain degree of cultural literacy to be a good communicator. Watch the news and read the newspaper so that you're aware of what's going on in the world. If you don't know what the latest headlines are, you're out of the loop.

Television shows like The View or ESPN's Sports Center are great for showing how people use language to interact. However, you need to be careful not to use slang terms in conversations on the job, because they can put off older adults who may not understand what the terms mean. It sounds corny, but the old "magic words" (please and thank you) and good manners still go a long way toward scoring points. Profanity and bad language work the other way and create a negative impression with adults.

Final Thoughts

Remember that teenagers who are computer literate automatically have something valuable to contribute. Many adults struggle with PCs and laptops and computer gadgets, but most teens understand computer technology with ease. If you can help adults with their computers, you instantly gain their respect.

RoAne is currently working on a book for teenagers about how to overcome shyness. You can find more of her advice at www.susanroane.com.

Students will develop strategies for overcoming shyness in a job interview.

REVIEW/DISCUSS

* What is a good way to get a job interview if you're shy? (by networking)

* What techniques help decrease shyness? (planning, preparing, practicing, making eye contact, having good posture, smiling, Listening, asking questions, and concentrating on one's strengths)

* How can interning or volunteering help shy people get jobs?

* How can a shy person learn to communicate better?

ACTIVITIES

* Assign students to write positive self-talk messages to repeat to themselves if they feel shy during a job interview.

* Show students how to research companies on the Internet and in the library, as well as how to plan questions to ask at a job interview.

* Have students role-play job interviews to practice overcoming shyness.

* Encourage students to list positive traits about themselves that relate to a job.

* Urge students to practice eye contact, good posture, a confident tone of voice, a firm handshake, and a sincere smile.

* Have students demonstrate the OAR technique (observe, ask, reveal). Then invite students to keep journals as they put the technique into action.

* Videotape students and let them view themselves speaking on camera. Have them write notes to themselves with recommendations.

* Have students research the biographies and autobiographies of famous people who overcame shyness. How did they do it? What advice do they have to offer that can be applied to students' lives?

"Shyness and Assertiveness," video, $69.95; Cambridge Educational, 1-800-468-4227. "Ace the Interview," CD-ROM, $99; "Make the Interview Count," video, $98; Linx, 1-800-717-5469.

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