How to overcome adversity and find success: adversity is a part of life, but it doesn't have to drag you down. Here's how to make the best of a bad situation - Focus

World class athlete and cyclist Lance Armstrong is quite possibly the most inspirational sports figure in the world. Just before his twenty-fifth birthday, this Olympic athlete learned he had cancer that had spread to his lungs and brain and that he had less than a 50-percent chance of survival. Despite this devastating news, Armstrong beat the cancer and came back to win the Tour de France, the world's most prestigious cycling event, four times.

Rick Hansen was still in his teens when he became paralyzed after being thrown from the back of a pickup truck As a young adult, Rick wheeled 40,000 kilometers around the world to raise awareness of the potential of people with disabilities.

In her youth, Oprah Winfrey had to deal with abuse and a teenage pregnancy. But she went on to become the most successful talk show host in television history.

These individuals are proof positive that adversity--whether it comes about as the result of our own mistakes, or just plain old bad luck-can be overcome.

Why did these people succeed and gain strength from adversity, while others seem never to recover from it? Read on to find out from a couple of teenagers who have overcome some incredible challenges and are finding successes in their own lives. They've learned that no matter what obstacles life tosses your way, success is attainable, but it takes a lot of hard work.

Corey

When Corey Waller was a young child, he could not have imagined the course his life would take. He never dreamed his mom, a successful cosmetologist, would get involved with an abusive boyfriend and become addicted to crack cocaine. Already abandoned by an irresponsible father, Corey found his life taking a turn for the worse when drugs became the focus of his mom's life. Corey found himself without a proper home. He was shuffled around the foster care system and to various family members until his Aunt Paula gave him a place to call home.

Despite Corey's early experiences, this 18-year-old is the most recent recipient of the Louisville YMCA's Teen Black Achiever of the Year award and is on his way to Harvard University. Mediocrity isn't in Corey's vocabulary. He is a football star, his grades are excellent (but he had to work hard for them!), and he is involved in many community service organizations. He's recently spoken in front of the governor of Kentucky, the Youth Achiever's Banquet, the police department, and a group of 7,000 teachers. He has taught a class at Spaulding University, and he even holds down a job.

Some might say that Corey Waller is successful against all odds, but in the book, Adversity Quotient: Turning Obstacles into Opportunities, author Paul G. Stoltz, Ph.D., argues that many successful people "come from disadvantaged backgrounds or worlds submerged in adversity." Stoltz says it's because they "understand adversity is apart of life." There's just no way around it. No one lives a perfect life, and everyone faces adversity to some degree. "By avoiding adversity, one avoids life," says Stoltz.

Corey is a member of the Chestnut Street YMCA Black Achiever's Program where Lynn Johnson is the director. She is not surprised by Corey's success, or by the success of all the young people who participate in the program. "The program tries to target kids with no sense of direction--for example, young people with no money to go to college."

The Chestnut Street YMCA Black Achiever's Program is the largest of its kind in the country. It's a career enhancement program that exposes African American youths in grades 8 through 12 to the corporate world and allows them to explore various career opportunities, earn scholarships, tour industries and colleges, and participate in work-study programs. Says Johnson, "It teaches them what they need to do right now to reach their goals down the road."

When asked why he's done so well, Corey credits his Aunt Paula for taking an interest in him. And he says, "Once you go through something and the payoff is so great, you don't want to go back to what's bad. That's why it pushes you to do even more and do better. Success is a drug." Corey has recognized that he deserves the best, and he isn't settling for any less.

Ethan

As a social worker and program manager for Essex County Juvenile Drug Court in Massachusetts, Sarah Wadhams has heard many heartbreaking stories of kids facing incredible hardships. But she's also seen many get past their problems and lead successful lives.

Ethan is one young man who ended up in Sarah's office. At the age of 13, Ethan got himself in trouble with drugs and was placed on probation. He was supposed to stay off drugs, but he repeatedly failed his drug tests.

It got so bad that he was taken out of school after walking into walls in a drug-induced stupor. He even attempted suicide. Things couldn't get much worse.

So how is it that today at the age of 16, Ethan sits on the Juvenile Drug Court's Advisory Board and has been clean and sober for over a year? Persistence and resilience, according to Stoltz, are key ingredients for success, and Ethan certainly possesses those traits.

Despite Ethan's good intentions and his desire to get off drugs, he always seemed to slip back into his destructive behavior, but he didn't stop trying. Eventually his persistence paid off. With the help of Wadhams and the Juvenile Drug Court, Ethan was willing to cooperate and get sober.

Like Corey, Ethan got a taste of success once he'd experienced a better way. Recently, Ethan, along with Wadhams and her team, won the Compass Award, which recognizes their contribution to the community.

Ethan continues to find success and meaning in his life. He is now trying to decide whether to become a social worker or to enter the culinary world as a chef. "You make someone a meal, but you don't affect their lives," he says.

Positive Qualities

You might think that working with young people who have addiction problems would be a real downer, but Wadhams has a very different view. "It is an incredible experience to work with a population that most people avoid out of fear. These adolescents are just looking for people to help them identify the positive qualities they have working for them. Often those positive qualities are overshadowed by poor decisions which may be the result of drug or alcohol use."

But that doesn't mean success is out of reach. People turn their lives around all the time. Ethan is a case in point. He faced his challenges head on, often struggling to reach his goals, but he got to where he was going--he got sober.

"Those young people who succeed in the program are those who are willing to try a different lifestyle [for the duration of the program] because the one they were living before landed them in the court system," says Wadhams. They are the ones willing to take a risk, to try something new. Once they experience success in the program, they see how different their lives can be, and they want to continue.

Ethan recognizes that reaching this goal doesn't end the journey. There will always be more goals and more destinations. The most important ingredient of success, according to Stoltz, is the ability to bounce back from adversity. "Success can be defined as the degree to which one moves forward and upward, progressing in one's lifelong mission, despite all obstacles or other forms of adversity."

Quitters, Campers, and Climbers

Stoltz divides people into three general categories: quitters, campers, and climbers. Quitters are people who give up easily, who "opt out, cop out, back out, and drop out." The minute they face any kind of hardship, they quit. They use adversity as an excuse not to work hard. They say things like, "What's the point?" and "It's not worth it" or "It's just a waste of time."

Campers are a step up from quitters, but they never reach their full potential. Campers are people who go a reasonable distance and get comfortable with the status quo. They don't challenge themselves much; they avoid risk and, as a result, they don't move up the ladder. Campers don't like to rock the boat.

Then there are the climbers. Climbers are people whose days are filled with learning and excitement. Climbers continually embrace and overcome challenges. They see hardships as opportunities to push themselves, to go one step further. They keep going no matter what obstacles life hurls their way. They are resilient and persistent. Climbing, says Stolz, is like swimming upstream. It demands unending energy, sacrifice, and dedication.

Though everyone does not meet life's challenges with such gusto, Stoltz says anyone can learn to turn adversity into success. Everyone is born with a certain amount of resiliency, and it's often not until we are tested that we recognize our inner strength. Unfortunately, when faced with life's challenges, most people fall short before they have tested their limits and contributed their utmost. But Stoltz tells us even quitters and campers can become climbers. It just takes a change in thinking and attitude.

Quitters and campers tend to "catastrophize." They turn everyday inconveniences into major setbacks. For example, when a quitter gets a D on a school paper, his thoughts run something like this: "Oh no, I'm going to fail history. I'll never graduate. I can kiss college good-bye. I'll end up working at a fast-food joint for the rest of my life. What's the point in even trying?"

A climber, on the other hand, would probably respond to the same grade like this: "Phooey! I know I should have worked harder on this paper. I'll make sure I don't leave it to the last minute next time. This will bring my grade down in history, but I can make it up on the next paper."

If you find yourself making mountains out of molehills, Stoltz offers these tips for changing your thinking.

1. When you find yourself "catastrophizing," stop yourself. Then say something positive instead.

2. Distract yourself by doing something totally different. Take a break.

3. Exercise. It alters your physiology and gives you a fresh outlook.

4. Refocus on your purpose. Ask yourself, "Why am I doing this?"

5. Give someone else a hand. It'll make you feel better and distract you from your negative thinking.

It isn't easy, but it is possible to turn adversity into success.

RELATED ARTICLE: How Well Do You Hold Up?

Test your ability to overcome adversity. Do you bounce back from hardships, or do you give up in frustration? Read the following situations and select the answer that matches what you would most likely do.

1. Your English teacher reams you out for a poorly written essay and gives you a low grade. You've always done OK in the past, and this outcome surprises you. You

a) know your essay deserved an A. Your teacher doesn't know anything.

b) did the best you could. There's nothing you can do about it now anyway.

c) try to figure out where you went wrong and plan to do better next time.

2. Your computer crashes while you're in the middle of a major school project, that is worth a significant portion of your grade--and you are facing a tight deadline. You

a)know you will never finish on time, so you might as well kiss this grade good-bye!

b) call your friend who is a computer whiz for help and hope he can retrieve some of your lost data.

c) find another computer to use and start all over again. You may not finish on time, but you're sure going to try.

3. While borrowing your parents' car, you have a minor car accident, and your parents have a fit. They vow that you will never be allowed to borrow the car again. You

a) are infuriated with the driver of the other car, who has totally ruined your life.

b) retreat to your bedroom because you will never be able to go anywhere ever again.

c) take the time to re-earn your parents' trust and confidence; and in the meantime, you'll use public transportation to get where you need to go.

Answers:

Question 1. If you answered a or b, you are catastrophizing and need to start thinking more positively.

Question 2. Either b or c is a good answer. B indicates you are a problem solver, and c says you're dedicated and willing to try. If you answered a, read the tips on page 10 to help you change your thinking.

Question 3. Answer a or b indicates you don't accept responsibility, and you give up easily. Answer c shows you don't let a little adversity get in the way!

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