Looking for Disaster? Try These Stupid Tricks

With more than 29 years in education, the last 12 as a superintendent in three different districts, I have been witness to some amazing acts on the part of superintendents.

We're all aware of the limited tenure of many in the superintendency, and I doubt there is a living superintendent who doesn't know someone who has lost his or her job or at least been on the ropes. We often find ourselves in very unusual situations for which nothing in a masters or doctoral program ever truly prepares us.

Being a student of my profession and someone committed to survival, I have watched carefully what others do and have tried to learn from their mistakes. Unfortunately I have also committed a few acts, which after the dust has settled, I've had to admit were just plain stupid. Of course, I'd never want to admit these mistakes to my colleagues in a national publication as my ego is too big for that. The key is to learn from others' errors and try not to commit them ourselves.

Down the Drain

Since superintendents, as a group, tend to be pro-active, I would like to share some surefire ways to blunder badly. I can all but guarantee that if you follow these suggestions, you will find your job security down the drain in short order:

No. 1: Win an argument with the board.

It doesn't matter what the issue is, you can appreciably shorten your tenure by winning an issue with the board. If you know the position your board members are taking, you can lay out a whole series of arguments showing why they are wrong. Invite teachers and parents to come in and help you win the battle. After all, the board is composed of lay people who don't have your expertise and they must be wrong. Just because they were elected by a popular vote of the community, doesn't give them the right to make a decision you don't agree with.

One good way to really compound this is, should your position actually be right, is to point out later that they were wrong. There is nothing that helps board/superintendent relations like a hearty "I told you so."

No. 2: Pick a fight with active community members.

Some people are just absolutely out of line. It is hard to believe how unreasonable people can be. So sometimes it is just plain good therapy to tell them they are bona fide kooks, nuts, idiots. After all, as superintendents, we want to be honest and up front with people. What's wrong with a little reality therapy?

The really great thing about doing this is you then can build a long-term relationship. How so? When people get really upset with you, they become motivated to be more closely involved and probably will run for a seat on your board. Angry and unhappy people are always more motivated to get out in an election and work hard to succeed. Another plus may be that this unhappy candidate can bring together all the people you've alienated with your manner or decisions. This gives a whole new meaning to consensus building.

Selective Sharing

No. 3: Share information unequally with board members.

It is great to keep your board informed, but it really becomes exciting when you withhold information from selected board members. Why does every board member need to receive the same things? After all, one board member might be a good friend or just be more available.

This little technique also can help spice up a boring board meeting. Just imagine that the board is discussing an issue when one member introduces inside information no one else on the board has received. It's downright funny when they turn to you with that look of total surprise. This is a great way to show people that you are in charge and that they need to be on your good side to earn all the information they want and need.

No. 4: Avoid visiting classrooms.

Visiting classrooms is a real waste of time. After all, you are the chief administrative officer of the school district. Your time is valuable. You aren't paid to squeeze into a tiny chair in a 1st-grade classroom and listen to children struggle through phonics. You've been a teacher and you know what classrooms are like. Seen one, seen 'em all.

If you spent your time visiting classrooms, someone might confuse you as a "touchy feely" type. You head a major industry and to think that the human element is important only reflects a lack of understanding about all the important work you have in the office.

No. 5: Make a lot of promises.

You're supposed to be a visionary who can look forward in time and steer the district into the future. Just think of all the wonderful things you are going to do with all those new computers, buildings, instructional materials and books. In your district, your vision will lead to greater financial support that will help teachers' salaries climb to the highest in your region.

Share that vision by promising to do these wonderful things. The more promises you make, the more people will share your vision. Don't worry that "trust" is one of the watchwords of operating a successful school district. People will understand why you haven't kept all your promises. There are so many things that just aren't under your control and everyone knows that. Besides, everyone today realizes you can't always believe what a superintendent says, so what's the harm?

Common Faults

If you think every idea I've suggested sounds so preposterous that no one would ever act on them, think again. I've seen each one several times and could cite plenty of names and dates, if it weren't for the slander laws. Obviously, there are more than five stupid acts that superintendents commit and we could compile a list of 20 or 30 without difficulty.

The bottom line is that we are in the people business and our failures are most often tied to our relationships. It is easy to just focus on "the job" and forget the human element. In actuality, how people feel about us has a much greater impact on our success and longevity than do the initiatives we put in place. The most knowledgeable superintendent in the world can't help children unless he or she can keep a job.

Look around and study what you see others doing. Make notes and learn from what you observe. I believe it was Yogi Berra who once said, "You can see a lot by looking."

Paul Hewitt is superintendent of the Mother Lode Union School District, 3783 Forni Road, Placeville, Calif. 95667.

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