The paper discuses the relationship between an ideal and real model of a family organization in patriarchal communities, the position of an individual within his family structure, and possibilities of creation and realization of an individual identity. The main assumption is that the creation of an individual identity within patriarchal relationships is encouraged only in stable socio-economic conditions, while crisis situations bring about the return of family/group identity, defined by an ideal model of a family organization. This assumption is confirmed on the example of refugees: in a crisis situation the principle of cooperation and disregard of interpersonal tensions become dominant over display of individual ambitions - and this is proven to be the only modus of survival. Such periods were frequent, and last until this day, so the model of cooperation as a basis of functioning of a Balkans patriarchal family reinvents itself in almost every generation. Some ideal images of the past still live, but they refer to better, wealthier and more stable life, while interfamily relations remain the same.